A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’m 21 and my boyfriend is 24, we met online and have been together for about 4 months now...He’s my first real relationship; all my other experiences have been disastrous one offs and this is the first time I’ve actually been on actual dates with someone for ages...Here’s the problem... I’ve been wanted a real relationship for a really long time and all I’ve wanted up to this point is just to be with someone who wants to be with me...And now I finally have and it’s great I’m happier than I have been in a long time but I’m not sure about the future...I have a tendency to think about thinks a lot especially the future and I’m always spouting hypothetical’s... My boyfriend is very open and always speaks his mind so he often tells me what he wants in the future and indulges my hypothetical situations...However recently we’re been talking about moving into together next year... I’m at university at the moment so he would have to move in with me and commute for work and I’m not sure if I want too...I can’t imagine being with anyone else at the moment but I think I’m not ready to settle down yet... He’s been in lots of relationships before me and has had a lot more experiences than me...I can see this relationship going all the way but I don’t want to end up regretting not having more experiences and end up resenting my boyfriend...I’m thinking of speaking with my boyfriend very soon about this but I’m scared of what might happen I don’t want to end up breaking up with him...What should I do?
View related questions:
met online, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 October 2009):
All the answers so far are being a bit over zealous.
Personally I think you just need to chill out a bit.
Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how happy you are with him, and that you love the way things are between you... But tell him you are only young and not ready to get into something with big serious overtones.
Tell him you think moving in together after only 4 months is a bit fast and it's freaking you out a little.
Moving in leads to engagement which leads to marriage and babies and no social life ever again.
This is still a new relationship. It may last for ever, it may end next week. There is really no need to worry about all this. Just tell your boyfriend that since this is the first time you've been in such a serious relationship you want to keep things as they are for a while longer and not rush to the next stage too soon.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 October 2009):
If you're not ready to settle, then you need to end this now so he doesnt get hurt, and live your own life. Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Anadin +, writes (21 October 2009):
 if he loves you he should understnad that you are a little wary of the idea of moving in with him, if its not what you want to do, tell him so, but dont give him false hope.
at the end of the day you should put number 1 first and move in with him when you are ready to, he should be understanding of this, and will comfort you about it too.
...............................
A
female
reader, miss nicole +, writes (21 October 2009):
ok honey your 21, now your 20s are ment to be your fun years and dealing with alot of life expiriences and i have to say this goin to be one of them. i know how you feel your young and in love and feel like youve found the one, but i am goin to tell you one thing never start a race unless or until you are ready or you will never reach the finish line. what you need to do is to tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel, tell him that your not ready to settle down yet if really loves he will understand, trust me gal there's nothing worse than jumping into heavy relationship at a young age, you need to focus on your self and your studies, i really hope it all works out for you.
love
miss nicole
...............................
|
