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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Keep in mind, I never dated, or actively try to "flirt" with girls, but I do observe a lot, and I gotta say, I don't really understand it. For instance, one of the bigger things I've noticed is guys commenting on girls' physical features (and I mean things like "You have nice boobs" or "You have a nice butt"); from my perspective, if I were a girl, and a guy I kinda knew told me I had nice boobs, I'd probably either be weirded out and stay away from him, or I'd be angry and tell him off. Yet, it seems like it's a non-issue; that's not to say the girls I've seen react positively to this kind of thing, but that they don't seem to react at all. It's as if the guy said something as nonchalant as "The weather is nice today". And these aren't the trashy "jump in bed with every guy they meet" girls, these are just regular girls I know. I mean, I know we're in a period of time where people are a lot more open and lax with their sexuality, but I don't get it. Heck, I see my one friend flirt with girls all the time, and he often tells them they're cute or attractive or whatever (basically, not being as overt as saying "You have nice boobs"), and that usually gets a positive response, and even that kinda weirds me out. I dunno, maybe I'm just "prude" or uptight, or something, or maybe I'm just completely out of touch with flirting/ women. It just doesn't make much sense to me. And I know, everyone is going to have their own unique responses to hearing certain things, and stuff, but generally speaking, I just don't feel like I understand it. Yanno?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 June 2012):
 Yes, darling- you ARE out of touch.
Why is it so strange that telling a girl that she is cute or attractive would elicit a positive response ? It's a compliment ! People like compliments, and like to be appreciated, and even if they don't particularly like the person who pays the compliment, they appreciate the kind intention .
" Nice boobs " and or " great ass " is a different story and frankly I can't imagine whom you are hanging out with, because I have never seen any normal adult approaching girls this way in a social context, at least when sober.
(When obviously drunk, perhaps - people is more tolerant with drunks, and let them get away with a lot of stuff.)
As for the girls, - well, slutty or not, the normal reaction would be a disgusted , icy stare, or maybe also a slap on your face. Or, simply turning their back and ignoring you.
Unless we are talking about giddy, giggly teenagers that want to feel all grown up and vampish. Or incredibly shy , socially inept girls that don't know how to handle it.
But normally saying you've got good boobs to a semi stranger is not a compliment, it's molestation. It's a sort of bullying , in fact, and MOST women would not take it kindly, believe me.
Of course , it all depends from the context, if it's a bunch of old friends having fun, say ,like, a class reunion, some clowning around, some raunchy comment, it won't be the end of the world, they won't call the police .
But...as an icebreaker, meeting a new person, in public ?...Perhaps you should just change friends :).
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2012): I would just like to say that, as a female, I am sometimes flattered by comments like that, but mostly i just dont react because I actually dont know what to say or how to react. Maybe some other girls are like that too?
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A
male
reader, downonmyluck  +, writes (2 June 2012):
hi, flirting is something that it can take a little bit of time to discover on your own. It's pretty normal thing for guys to do. Certain girls react differently to different types of guys.For instance, one girl might be upset being told she has nice boobs & another girl just might like it. Thinking here it may have a lot to do with the kinds of people they hang out with plus how they were brought up as well. Sometimes the girls might not say too much to the guy because they might be trying to ignore him more or less.. not too encourage him. Just give this some time to work out. And if you're a bit shy with the girls you might try doing some practicing on flirting on your own prior to flirting with some girls .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2012): I don't know where had a chance to witness such a conversation, but it is not how most girls would react. Try saying something like that to a decent girl and you will probably get slapped.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2012): Plenty of women are going to smile at a sexual comment from a cute guy. But they would throw a drink in the face of an ugly guy for saying exactly the same thing.
I am saying that women don't really judge the comment as much as they judge the guy making it. Flirting is mainly just the act of taking the risk of hitting on them. Especially at your age. Your risk will either get rewarded or punished. The men who get the most female attention take a lot of risks and don't mind failing a lot for every single success.
(Of course most women won't tell you what I am saying. But if you go by what they say, they also prefer nice guys not jerks. Don't ever believe what women say about themselves when it conflicts with what you observe about them.)
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