A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't think I love my husband anymore.My husband and I have been married for 5 years now, we have a 2 year old son. I was married at the age of 23. At the moment we have a lot going on, I've been telling him that I feel lost and that I don't feel we are trying hard enough to make things work between us. At the moment the only thing I think that is bonding us together is my son. We both have issues and I'm currently working on mines-which is his parents. His is that he feels I should be the women of the house as in hold a full time job and be a dedicated housewife when and if he gets home. He works out a lot so I've been in this situation for a long time. I thought I was used to it but now I feel like we're on two different planets. He does seem to get the fact that we need to work at our marriage. I have kept the communication lines open for a long time now but it seems that he does not want to talk to me about anything that goes on in his head. We hardly talk and I still want to work things out but I need him to work on it with me instead of nothing at all. My main issue is that he still wants to help his parents financially and the fact that he works odd hours and sometimes nevr makes it home is why I said no, it's a no go besides the fax that his mother is a compulsive gambler and his father is a drug addict. I'm currently studying now fulltime, I took time off for six months which he did support me on but now it seems it was a big mistake. His mom is in hospital now and will probably be there for awhile. He wants me to take care of her when she gets out? Is this fair? His parents and I have history and they used to the good life even though they can't afford most things their addictions come first. My father-in-law is very dishonest and would sell his own sole for a fix but my husband still pities him and wherever he gets a chance he will help even if we are broke he feels its his duty to do it. My husband is the 2nd son out of 4 siblings yet he is the only one that my in-laws can rely on or more like make him feel guity that he was ever born. But he still doesn't get it. Most days I feel like crying other days I just feel like whacking him over the head and telling him to wake up. Another thing is that we have never, ever lived alone. We lived with his parent when we were married and when I feel pregnant we moved out and mom moved in with us and she is now taking care of my son. I also have my cousin and my husband's cousin living with. I don't think we even know each other anymore. Sometimes I wonder why I even married him, if I ever loved him. We're not that active in the bedroom anymore - well not me, he still wants sex and I can't seem to bring myself to even think about it. I haven't climaxed in 2 years. He knows that but he still wants it. I think my emotions have blocked of all feeling for it. My mom has helped us a lot with taking care of my son so we can have some time alone but - he ain't getting it. He doesn't want to talk he wants to get busy in bed. I don't even like him touching me anymore. I don't feel a thing. Is this normal? Am I being paranoid? I think I've had it. But I first want to know if things like this happen? I tried to leave a couple of times but I always came back cos I was scared of what my family would think and who would I be without him. I feel like my spirit has been broken when I try to tell him how I feel. I'm stuck somewhere and I don't think I can come out. Sometimes I think love and marriage is over rated, and this is how it supposed to be after a couple of years. Please help me :(--------[Mod note to the OP: In the future, please be more "reader friendly" by breaking your question/posting into paragraphs - instead of your original 1 long paragraph :-). Thank you.]
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am I being paranoid, cousin, moved in, moved out Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been thinking a lot this morning and for he past couple of months. I'm going to take things slow and separate from my husband. I think then I can clear my mind and I can think without him around. I really need a time out from all of this. It would be easier if I had no commitments but I do. So I will have to search for the right answers and come to a conclusion regarding where I want to go in the future. I can't have him hold me back. I'm forgetting who I am because of him. I don't want to do that. I kinda like who I was before and I don't want to be down all the time. I just was the type of person who thought I love one man only and get married once and it would be forever. I guess I was wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNewsflash:My husbands parents and I had had a falling out because they feel that my mom and the others that live in our house need to leave because they want to live with. How can I chase my family away? My husband blame the whole situation on me AND said that I'm the reason why he has a drinking problem and I have an attitude problem. He says I give his parents attitude from the beginning of our relationship. I never did until they pushed their limits and I just broke. I feel like my spirit has been broken. I can't handle all of this. This morning he acts like nothings wrong and he didn't say the those hurtful things and this whole thing is my fault. He even tell my mother hurtful things last and night knowing she does so much for my son and us. I would of already killed myself if it weren't for my son.
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A
female
reader, Beaurosie  +, writes (7 April 2009):
I think you should get out now while you can. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. You will meet someone else in time, but just don't make the same mistake by meeting a guy with the same personality as this one has. I have heard from a very wise source that 'if you want to know about someones future behaviour then just look at their past behaviour'. Therefore this is how , I think you should analyze your situation now.. do you really want to carry on your life this way? If the answer is no then do yourself a really big favour, stay strong and get out and find a good life for yourself and child. Take care and good luck, just stay true to yourself and you'll be fine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Guys, Thanks for the support and being so direct - I think I needed that.
Bryanz - I actually don't work on mines. I meant that my husband and I have issues and I and working on my issues. Sorry for the confusion.
Thanks for the response
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A
male
reader, Bryanz  +, writes (7 April 2009):
I have read the first 6 paragraphs, and I have read enough.I agree with satindesire, if he thinks you should be a housewife and hold a fulltime job. He is ridiculous, for being a woman working on the mines I honestly bow to you. You are a very hard working woman, knowing the cause of falling out of love. I am still trying to get out of the pain, I am only 16 years old. My ex-girlfriends family was not a HUGE fan of me, because they thought I was into hardcore drugs, which isen't true. The catch is that I got her pregnat at the age of 15 years old, it really tore me apart of the fact of her being so young. Knowing that her dad would try to abort it really tore me apart. But you know what, she got kicked out because she refused to leave me and have an abortion. I recently let her in with me, shortly after I felt it fading but still are together working out problems today. We are still young, and I am taking care of her. And hopefully to be in the baby's life raising it. I know you really dont care about my life story, but i'm saying sometimes lost love can be recovered. I really think you should hang in there, see about reconciling. PS: I decided to read on, and I noticed you saying something about him only nice when he wants sex. That is NOT right, and I dis-agree on any man or even woman only wanting a relationship for sexual purposes. And for the addictions of his parents is very horrifying and he may be going through a very rough time. My auntie, is a compulsive hitter. She has attempted suiside 3 times, my mother caught her in the act 2 times. I caught her once, we are very lucky to have her still. Eitherway, I bow down to you for being a very hard worker, me myself I don't think woman should be working full time on a mine. That is a men's job, and thats why I would like to see more unique woman like that. Goodluck with your husband, and I wish you the best.
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