A
male
age
26-29,
*ylan McK
writes:I am currently doing my GCSEs and im in Year 10 at high school. My mum is head of media studies at the local Grammar school that is nationaly recognised as outstanding. Shes keeps telling me that the only reason that we still live in this town and don't move is because i could go to sixth form at the grammar school. Frankly i have no idea what i want to do at the end of school, i want to just get my band and start gigging if im perfectly honest, I know my mum won't let me though. So i tell her that after year 11 i want to go to Access To Music college with my cousin whos the other half of our duo. She then absouloutly flips and tells me i have to do sixth form, i say that i don't know what I do in A-levels, because i don't, i've never been told what you do. She says im just lazy and don't want to have to work hard, this isn't true because i always work hard and get Bs, Cs and Ds. But everyone tells me im smarter and that i should be getting A*s. I honestly am not, and i get so f-ing annoyed everytime i get told im just lazy and that i don't try, and that im smarter then i am. I don't think im going to get the grades i need to go to Sixth form at grammer, and i don't know what to do, im so stressed by all of this, please, help me.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 April 2011):
 Everyone when they are studying feels like they want to give up at some point, at times it seems hopeless and like you will never do well so you might as well just stop.
Listen to this - I went to uni aged 18 (I am now 23) and one of my friends didnt go to uni so she has worked from the age of 18. I have been working for 2 and a half years now, whereas my friend has been working for nearly 6 years. In the last 2 and half years, despite the recession, my salary has gone up by £9,000. Whereas my friend still earns £4,000 less than me, despite working for double the amount of time I have been working. University REALLY pays off, I cant tell you enough how much easier it makes your working life in the future. All my friends that didnt go to uni are struggling, going from one job to another not really finding anything they enjoy. Whereas me and my friends who did go to uni are now incredibly succesful and happy in our jobs. Heck, one of my friends who is the same age as me and who went to uni at the same time as me is now on £30,000 per year!
Whenever you lose hope or feel de-motivated, think about what you want from your future and how you see your life turning out. Then think that these exams you are working for now are the first stepping stone to acheiving your dreams - that should keep you going!
Make sure you mix up your revision and take regular breaks, even try studying in different locations. I always found when the weather was nice that revising in the garden was good for me as I got some fresh air, a bit of a tan and was still learning! Or revising in a group and testing each other - that can be fun and is also good to discuss in a group things you are struggling with, as someone else in the group may get that bit and be able to explain it in a new way to you.
Also - set yourself something to look forward to when your exams are over. Are you going on holiday? Can you organise a day trip with your friends somewhere fun? Giving yourself something to look forward to when it is all over really helps, because you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
And lastly - yes these exams are very important and you need to try as hard as you can otherwise you will regret it in the future. There are a variety of options even if you dont get the grades so dont put too much pressure on yourself, these exams are not going to be the end of the world if they dont go exactly to plan.
Keep focused and dont give up, you have plenty of time left and you will make great progress between now and your exams if you just keep going. But dont stress yourself out too much, there will be other options if things dont go exactly to plan. All you can do is do your best - if you know deep down that you have put 100% effort into this and you could not have revised anymore if you tried - then that is all anyone can ask of you. As long as you know that there is nothing more you could have done, then you have done your best so well done. There is always time, and there is always hope - so never give up.
And maybe have a look at some of these websites for some hints and tips you might not have thought about before:
http://www.cambridgestudents.org.uk/examtime/revisiontips/
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/EducationAndLearning/14To19/Courseworkandexams/DG_10034950
http://www.s-cool.co.uk/
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
male
reader, Dylan McK +, writes (12 April 2011):
Dylan McK is verified as being by the original poster of the question Sometimes, when im doing schoolwork. I just don't feel motivated to do it. And i get told how important it is, bit that still doesn't motivate me, please help.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): Let me be blunt.This is the time of your life where working really hard pays off more than any other time of your life. It is the time of your life when being ambitious can make a huge difference. Unlike the rest of your life, it doesn't matter who you know, how much experience you have, where you live -- in this task performance alone is what determines success.That's why your mum wants you do do A levels. That's why everyone is pushing you to do better -- because if you're a slacker now, it can make a huge difference to your life.As for music, well if that's what you want to do, then be ambitious about it. Don't be content to do a further education course (and if you do, be careful because a lot of those are simply ways to make money off people deluded about their talent or misled about the potential of the music industry). Get your A levels, get into a undergraduate conservatory course, do your three years, and exit knowing all the music background, skills and theory you'll need for a lifetime of performing.As for grades. Smart people get As. Note that I didn't say intelligent people. Smart people have some intelligence, but they're also good time managers, ruthless with failings in themselves whilst being generous about failings in others, have their priorities straight. People are saying that you've got the intellect to get As, but it's clear that you are lacking the other aspects of smartness. You need to get those in short order, because if you think that studying is hard, well you haven't looked too closely at the music industry.So get smart. Put some thought into this rather than whinging on the Internet. Because it's pretty plain to me that your current alternative plan hasn't been thought through at all -- going to ATM isn't a life goal, it's not even a particularly good step on getting to a life goal compared with getting your A levels. It reads to me like you just want to follow your friend rather than work out your own life. That's a risky strategy, your cousin might meet some attractive thing in the pub tomorrow and be gone, and where would that leave you?
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (12 April 2011):
I understand how you feel, I remember very well how hard it was at school and sixth form so I feel your pain. But I also kinda understand where your mum is coming from too - so dont be quite so hard on her.
Being interested in music is great, it is fantastic you have such a passion. But I'm sure you are aware how incredibly hard it is to get into music and only a tiny percentage of people make any money from it. So that is why your mum is annoyed that you want to give up school for music - she doesnt want you to end up with basic qualifications and a failed music career. Now I'm sure you are very gifted musically, and I'm not saying you shouldnt go down the music route - I think you just need to find a balance of music and school.
GCSE's are good, but they dont really get you anywhere anymore. You definitely need A-levels, regardless of what college or 6th form you get them from. Even just as a back-up in case music doesnt work out - it will be really beneficial for you to have them. All you need to do is pick the subjects you enjoy at GCSE, and continue them at A level. Generally the way I picked my A Levels was by whatever I was doing best at GCSE level I would carry on at A level. So maybe pick the subjects you are getting B's and C's in at GCSE, and carry those on into A Level. You only need to pick 3 or 4, so that shouldnt be too hard.
It is awful that people are making you feel bad about getting B's and C's - if you are doing your best then that is all they can ask of you. As long as you know that you have put 100% effort into your studies then that is all that matters, ignore everyone else because at the end of the day, the only important person here is you. And if you know deep down that you have done your best, then you will live life with no regrets and that is what matters. Plus B's and C's are good - no-one should be making you feel stupid for these grades! Dont let anyone else get you down - you are doing really well so keep up with the good work. I remember at GCSE I was getting a lot of B's and C's in my mock exams and I got really stressed out by it all, but then in the final exams I got a mix of A*, A, and B's so it worked out better in the end. So keep positive, what matters is your final grades not what you are getting now. And you will find it all comes together in the end, all your hard work will pay off I promise.
So I think what you need to do is work hard, get the best grades you can at GCSE - and then find somewhere to do your A Levels. This might be at the grammar school, or it might be at another college/6th form - it doesnt matter where you do them (all you need is 5 or more C grades at GCSE for normal colleges/6th forms), as long as you make sure you get A Levels. I promise you now your life will be so much easier if you get A levels - there will be so many more opportunities open to you if you have them compared to only having GCSE's. You can continue gigging while you are doing A Levels - and you will find you might actually have a bit more time for music when you are doing A Levels as you only do 3 or 4 which means you have a good number of free periods and later starts/earlier finishes to your school day. So you can practice more and because you are older, you will be able to get more gigs in pubs/clubs etc.
My younger sister has some good friends who are in a band that did exactly that - they were taking their A Levels and also in a band, gigging frequently around all the pubs, clubs and bars. A few months before their final exams they were spotted by a scout and have been signed to a record label! So you can do both, I promise you. It is so much better to have a fall back of A levels so that whatever happens in life, you have options. And you can do both music and study at the same time, it is not impossible.
School is a hard time for everyone, so the pressure you are experiencing is totally normal. Dont give up though, you will get there in the end and it will all be ok. Keep working hard, keep doing your music and stay in school until you are 18 - and it will all work out great.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (12 April 2011):
 Pull out the history of music and show her all the famous and rich and EXTREMELY hard working, devoted composers who's parents insisted they follow in their footsteps.
Show her how many became drug addicts and alcoholics before they eventually ran away and became composers.
Oh but on the other hand it was often those parents who created the right emotions that turned into symphonies.
So maybe due diligence is in order.
Just think how a 6th form might one day turn into a new 5th.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (12 April 2011):
 I feel SO sorry for you: you really don't deserve this pressure to perform beyond what you perceive as your capability.
Your mother's position must make it worse for both of you.
If you are genuinely trying your best, nobody could ask any more from you and this pressure is counter-productive.
Also, you have this dream and presumably the talent to carry it out, so it's a dreadful further imposition on you that mum and others are not understanding this and supporting you in YOUR career choice.
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