A
female
age
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*oz 3
writes:Dear cupid,I have been in a relationship for 20yrs, I'm 61 female and most of that 20yrs have been very lonely. I live far away from my grown-up children. My partner has always liked a drink and is very abusive in drink, I myself rarely go out as I am not much of a drinker. The relationship has always been somewhat verbally abusive, not on my part you understand, but now he's taken it to another level, and has attacked me by grabbing my throat, shouting and swearing at me, I don't know what to do I'm so confused as one minuet he says he loves me and the next, looks at me with hate in his eyes. Can you give me some advise.Regards,Roz. Reply to this Question
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reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (4 March 2009):
 You are so welcome hon! I do hope that the world as you now know it will soon be gone and as another doors opens unto you, it will be to a great new beginning. To God Be The Glory and thank you for your kind words.
Blessings always,
Blue_Angel
A
female
reader, Roz 3 +, writes (3 March 2009):
Roz 3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I would like to say thanks to Blue_ Angel for her reply, it made me feel a lot stronger knowing there are a lot of women out there going through the same problems, and some are even worst off than me. I am working on a plan to get myself out of this awful situation as soon as possible. You are a very wise lady, thank you so much for sharing.
Many thanks,
Roz 3
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (2 March 2009):
I'm so sorry to hear your situation. Take this to heart please. I am the last of 8 children who had an alcoholic Mother, I have dated serveral alcoholics in my lifetime and was engaged to a few. Unfortunantly their abusive pattern kept me from marrying them. They were all basically good guys, unti they started drinking.
I have been attacked also, verbally, mentally and phusically.(beaten) and I had to go to the hospital. I;ve suffered for most of the last 18 years because I wasn't strong enough to make it stop. I has small children. I had to protect them and support them. I've lost alot of household items and money in the relationships not to mention getting indebted and having to start over again and again. Please get out of this relationship BEFORE YOU GET HURT WORSE...YOU COULD END UP LOOSING YOUR LIFE!
I don't reply here with my own stories to glorify myself in anyway. Nor is it my intent to really put others down. I hope that my experiences, which are absolutely true, will help save someone from the sorrows and pains I have suffered from not knowing how to deal with this or having the means to leave. I was also disabled. I just never gave up. I found support and help so it was a good thing. I relied mostly upon GOD TO SEE ME THRU...
I suggest that you talk to a clergyman, preacher,pastor or other conselor to find help in getting out of this abusive realationship. If this man has treated you this way for almost 20 years hon, I am sorry to say, THIS ISN'T LOVE AND IT PROBABLY ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE! Although you can Pray and Hope you are going to be better off out of this sitution. Although SOME people DO CHANGE, it isn't highly likely. Please do what it takes for you to protect yourself. I was like you I didn't drink either and still don't. I am a desiginated driver.
You have to choose to LOVE YOURSELF enough to take better care of YOU. As we age, our coping mechanisms are beginning to lesson in some ways. It others they are finer tuned and stronger. The need to protect and love oneself is of great necessity for us. We are the weaker sex so to speak and sometimes the most frail but we have to stand up and be STRONG! Stop letting this man mistreat you, YO DESERVE SO MUCH MORE! Please don't waste your life on a man who can't even give you respect nor a man who would hurt you in anyway and not try to change his bad behavior towards you.
You can seek help thru some social services and trust me I know how it might make you feel lonely to be without him. You WILL however DO BETTER IN THE END WITHOUT HIS ABUSE AND GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO FIND SOMEONE DECENT ENOUGH TO DESERVE YOUR LOVE AND ATTENTION. I will be 52 in a matter of days and WE BOTH ARE TOO OLD TO WASTE OUR PRECIOUS TIME ON MEN THAT DON'T MAKE US FEEL SPECIAL AND LOVED WITHOUT ANY ABUSE PERIOD!
My best to you always,
May the Angels watch over you and gently make way for you a safer and happier place to dwell. Sending to you someone who will treasure you as the woman God gave to man as his helpmate......not his stepping stone!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, Roz 3 +, writes (2 March 2009):
Roz 3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany thanks to the person who answered, I am currently looking at all my options, I haven't told my family about this recent event until I decide which course of action to take.
Once again thank you.
Regards Roz.
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