A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, my question is about expanding my social circle, basically I know quite a lot of people but they aren't exactly people I would hang out with as we've only met at parties and stuff so my group of close friends is quite small and it would be nice if I could get to know some more poeple as it seems like these friends are the only people i ever do anything with, but it's difficult to become better friends with more people when they're already in their own cliques so it would be nice if I could get some advice on how to go about this. Also I don't really have time for extra clubs and stuff as I'm busy with GCSE work and my job and already go to the gym a lot.Any replies will be appreciated, thanksx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (3 March 2009):
 I wouldnt worry about having more close friends, really, if I were you.
Now, please go back to your posting, and ask yourself to define the phrase "close friends". Then, decide again whether you want more close friends, or you just want more friends. :-)
Here's an example of parameters:
(a) amount of time spent with them (personal one-on-one direct interaction, or phone and email and text contact tine, hanging out time). How much spare time do you have ever day/week?
(b) degree of "private and confidential" information shared. How many friends do you want to share this with? The more people you share it with, the less "private/personal" information it becomes.
(c) subject of interest: do you have different interests in life? back to point a and b above ...
Some people tell me that I am a loner, yet, I have many friends that I feel close to on different "circles". They say I am the first one they called if they have something to share with me based on certain issues. When we see each other (from these various groups of friends), people commented that it is like two best friends who have not seen each other for a while.
Just go with the flow. You should be alright. Unfortunately, the older we get, the less "innocent" we become too, even in being friends with other people - or in looking to find/make friends. We may not do it consciously, but we do it nonetheless.
Good friendships are hard to find. Cherish the ones you already have.
Cat
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRiiight thanks for that ArmyMedic, but since I am only allowed a limited time on the pc each night then I guess that isn't really the problem, also my question quite clearly stated that meeting people also wasn't a problem but gaining closer friends was.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (2 March 2009):
So you have expanded your social circle of friends, but you don't have extra time to socialize with your new friends?
Just focus on finishing your GCSE now. You lead a healthy balanced life already: school, work, exercise. Summer will be here soon enough and you will undoubtedly make new friends then.
Cat
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (2 March 2009):
 Spend less time on line and more time out meeting people.
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