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I don't think he's interested in me for me

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2009)
A female Australia, anonymous writes:

I feel like this guy who I'm dating isnt really interested in me for me. I feel like he doesnt really care about how I feel and my emotions etc.

Often when we talk, he doesnt seem to really be listening to what Im saying. The times when he seems to be fully engaged in the conversation is if its about something like sex, etc...you get the picture.

I had a car accident last week, in which I wasnt badly hurt physically, but emotionally I wasnt in a normal state. I went into shock and started vomiting and hyperventelating. The next time my bf and I talked he said 'how are you' and I said my back was really sore and he asked why and so I told him I had a car accident, his reaction was 'true'. Then he changed the subject by saying 'so what are your plans for the rest of the day?'. He didnt bother to ask what happened or if I was ok or anything....I felt like he just didnt care. I feel like he doesnt want to be there for me in important times. However, he is quite happy to have sex with me- although we havent had sex, but he keeps saying he wants to.

Things like the above example happen quite often.

I feel like he only appreciates me for superfical reasons, such as my looks. He always compliments me by saying he thinks im gorgeous and beautiful etc, but he never compliments any other things he likes about me.

I just dont know what to do, I feel like he just doesnt care!

When I have tried talking to him about things that upset me in which he does, he just comes back with some lame excuse then changes the topic. No sorry, or sympathy to how it made me feel.

At one stage I was so sick and tired of everything that I stoped going out of my way to contact him because I felt like he wouldnt really care, and wanted to see if he did. Eventually he contacted me saying how sorry he was and bla bla. I accepted his apology, thinking things would change. But no, they are back to normal!!

I keep feeling down about myself, asking myself why I am not good enough for him to like me more? I hate this feeling and want it to stop.

View related questions: engaged

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A male reader, tenfold Australia +, writes (31 May 2009):

i'm sorry to say this but its clear from what you stated. He doesn't seems like he love the inner you but your outer look. If this goes on, probably after he have sex with you he might dump you. Remembers, beauty doesn't last forever. To be together forever someone have to got to love the inner you which will not change easily.

Trying not to be bias, probably he is new to relationships and not knowing how to care for others. this problem can be solve overtime. Communication is vital here. sometimes you just have to express out your feelings. Women express out her feelings by using words whereas men by actions.

Let me ask you one question.

Which one do you felt more (as in number of times)?

The feeling of not being cared/loved;or

The romantic feelings when being with him.

One answer leads you to continue the relationship whereas the other leads you to a breakup BUT eventually find your Mr.Right.

best of luck.

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A male reader, Neboraic United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2009):

You have already figured it all out. He doesnt return your feelings to the same extent you do. There is a man out there for you, maybe its best to leave this one and start looking. I know the feeling of not being listened to or cared for and its painful, its worse being with them than being alone.

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A female reader, Risen United States +, writes (31 May 2009):

I'm sorry, but looking at his behavior, it's not the behavior of someone who wants a relationship, it's the behavior of someone who only wants sex. If you want more then it's best to look elsewhere.

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