A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First of all, sorry for the explicit nature of this question. I'm just wondering if anybody else feels the same way. I'm a virgin (female) and when I masturbate, I can't think about having sex or doing sexual things with another person. Well, I *can*, technically, but it isn't arousing to me at all. I don't have any trouble having an orgasm, but thinking about sex doesn't get me there. In fact, I feel downright weird if I try to fantasize about hot guys I know. It just feels disrespectful and wrong somehow.I am certain that I'm not asexual, and I do have plenty of fantasies and daydreams when I'm not masturbating, but I find that most of the time, thinking about lighter forms of contact (kissing, cuddling etc) is more interesting than thinking about actually doing the deed. I have literally zero experience with boys - never been kissed, never even held hands with a guy. Do you think this could be the reason that I don't find thoughts of sex to be all that arousing? Maybe since I've never experienced sexual contact, imagining sex kinda doesn't mean as much to me as it might to someone more experienced? I dunno.I just wanna know if I'm a weirdo or not... Your answers would be appreciated!
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female
reader, It's all be okay  +, writes (26 April 2010):
There is nothing wrong with you at all - quite the contrary.
You are masterbating, you are having an orgasm, and you are not having to imagine anything naughty to do it - perfect.
Personally when I masterbate (and I am over 40 and have had plenty of sex) I don't think about sex either - I just enjoy how it feels.
This is, in my view, much the healthiest and purest way. So just go on enjoying it!
A
male
reader, yankit +, writes (25 April 2010):
Don't worry about being aswxual. Self love is our first true emotion according to some phsycocologists. If it feels goodkeep it up. as long as you can "get there" it really isn't important how or what you think. You really should tryit with someone though it really gets even better if someone watches or participates.
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A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 You're totally normal! You just enjoy love a lot more than sex which is actually a good thing. Keep it up! You can't go wrong. You're simply a sane girl who is evolving. Don't worry! :) Besides: Love is a lot better than sex so you're definitly on the perfect track of mind. Don't be worried and just keep doing what you're doing :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Nope. Not weird, not at all. You are normal! Don't worry, you are fine.
Masturbation and fantasies are really no one's business but your own. What works for you is one thing, what works for someone else might be another. But no one needs to compare or judge, okay?
You're fine, I promise.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): You sound exactly like my friend! wow she says the exact same thing.I think it will come with age,it may be something to do with guilt,alot of kids,well alot of adults too feel really dirty masturbating,it might just be because like you say it just feels disrespectful and wrong somehow to fantisize about men.Were all individuals and nothing is ever set in stone so dont worry,do what feels good and be happy.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Some people find masturbation to be more like a meditation than a sexual act. Like a wonderful amazing self-massage that relieves stress, cures headaches and cramps, and just makes you happier. You mention that thinking about guys you know feels disrespectful and wrong, but it's not! They're in your head. You have done nothing bad to them. There's nothing wrong with thinking of nothing but the feelings when masturbating. I know plenty of people who do this and I do it most of the time too. It doesn't make you a freak or anything. It definitely does not mean you are asexual, as asexual people have no desire to masturbate. Just keep masturbating in whatever way feels good and stop worrying about whether it's normal. No matter what it is, yes, it's normal.
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