A
male
age
30-35,
*rdinaryrisktaker
writes:Hey guys I need a little help with something you see I met this wonderful girl... she used to be all depressed but now she says that I make her happy. But now all of a sudden we have had sex and I gave her a lot of pleasure but now... She says that she's not in the mood or just starts mocking me about how I don't have the ability to stimulate her with what she needs any more... I lost a bit of confidence and I told her that I won't be kind and confessive any more now.. Then she said that she'd rather have the sweet and kind guy instead of what I have become. plz guys I really need help with this
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female
reader, Too Sensitive +, writes (8 December 2008):
You are both so young! She should not be mocking you - that doesn't help anything. When it comes to sex and lovemaking, both partners need to be sensitive and caring to the other.
Maybe she thought she was ready for sex with you and has discovered she is not. Maybe there is some aspect that makes her uncomfortable, be it her own confidence or body image, fear of getting pregnant, etc. Maybe she is still depressed underneath it all and hides it very well. Depression can certainly get in the way in the bedroom.
Maybe it's best to lay off the sex for now. If and when she is ready, she may come around again. She will let you know in her own way if this happens.
As far as getting a woman to orgasm, it is different for every female. What works for one does not necessarily work for another. Also, the same technique at different times of a woman's cycle may work one time and not another. I have noticed this from my own personal experience. I believe I've read that a woman's uterus tilts slightly one way or the other, depending on where her cycle is at, as well as ovulation can greatly enhance arousal, besides right before and right after her period starts and ends. So any one of these things (or lack of) could alter the sensitivity of a particular area, making it more sensitive one day and not as sensitive the next. If it's not as sensitive, it may take more time, work, or creativity on your part for her to achieve orgasm.
Starting with non-sexual touch is good, followed with teasing in the sexual areas of the body (lightly caressing or touching in these areas, but not necessarily on the most sensitive parts in these areas...build up the anticipation...it can be very erotic and exciting for both of you). There's nothing wrong with a "quickie" now and then - they can be fun too. And if one or both of you are tired, well, it's the best way (though at your age you probably do not know the meaning of the word "tired")! But I think it is better to take your time, explore, and allow at least an hour so there is no pressure or time constraints.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): you probably became some wild "manly" maniac, disregarding what really turns her on in the bedroom while outside of the bd your are sweet and understaning. The same way you treat her when you're not in the sack is the same way you should treat her when you are. most of the time your should not be to jump right into the pussy, thus forgetting the rest of her body or the importance of emotional stimulation. let me show you how:you should go to bed early one day. talk to her, mess around, do not show that sex is the most important thing but that getting to know her and pleasing her sexually is the most important thing. play with her breast. dont go straight for the nipple but work your way to her most sensitive parts. lightly graze your hands over her breasts, suck her nipples a little and then run your hands over her whole chest area. create antisipation...she will want you suck her nipples continuously is you build her "want". a good way to know that she wants you to suck her nipples is if you notice a slight arc in her back. she's giving her self over to you.suck her nipples...the higher the arousal the rougher she'll be able to take it. so if you want to be a beast in the bd get her real hot. ask if she would like it harder, if yes, add pressure to her nipples with your teeth or with your lips. do not scrape your teeth over the nipple though! bit down, pull the nipple, let go of the nipple, repeat.move to her pussy. don't go straight for it but kiss and touch the area around it...build antisipation. a good way to know she wants you to lick her clit is if she's jutting her pelvis towards your face and her back is slightly arced.ask her to touch her clit or the most sensitive area of her pussy. suck lightly on her clit while rubbing your tongue over it. keep going if she is moaning...do not keep switching your technique. once she's enjoying it stay there and eat her real nice. if you can handle it insert a finger into her cunt and move it back and forth in a "come here" motion. she will come all over your finger and your face. and the she will be ready for you to enter her pussy with you dick. and bcuz you took the time to drive her crazy her pussy will thank you over and over again...
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (11 November 2008):
 You must become a man who knows how to please a woman, but you are really too young at this point. My best advice is to peruse this Web site's archives pertaining to female orgasms and how to make it happen for her. It is really a simple process that an embarrassingly small percentage of men ever learn at all. It is truly an art when properly applied, but hard to teach in words. Nevertheless, check the search field above using such words as cunnilingus, orgasm, clitoris, G-spot and such. Lot's of good information here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): Try talking to her about it, maybe her saying "i'd rather have the sweet and kind guy instead of what you've have become" is a way to tell you that you've changed and she misses the old you, and maybe the fact that you're so concerned in why she doesn't want too have sex, or why you don't stimulate her has something to do with this change. Maybe you care to much about sex. Tell her you want too be that sweet kind guy again even if you have to give up sex. (If you really like her that much, if you don't then it really wasn't even worth posting about!) Then try to get her to tell you what you have to do.
hope that helps..
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