A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I started dating a woman a few months ago, and emotionally our relationship has progressed very quickly, while the physical aspect of things has gone very slowly since her past relationships haven't ended well. My problem is that I have a small penis, roughly 2 1/2' - 3' erect. Due to a thyroid condition I'm pretty well over weight at 5'9 300 lbs. I'm scared that I won't be able to satisfy her with my small penis, coupled with my weight getting in the way. She's not exactly small either, around 5'6 160-180 and bottom heavy.I don't see how this is going to work physically, I'm scared that after all the emotion her and I have committed to this relationship that it can possibly be ruined by my darkest secret. I truly believe that her and I are meant to be together, as does she, and this thought has been in the back of my mind for 3+ months now.After that small back story, here's my questions:1.)Can this work, my small penis and our larger frames?2.)Have i screwed up by not telling her earlier that I have a rather small penis?3.)Should I tell her, or just let her find out?4.)She's had by far more sexual experience than me, will this make my problem worse?5.)If anyone in a similar position sees this, which would be the best position? The only one that's really worked for me in the past is if the woman rides me, and that's usually with women a lot smaller than I am.I'd appreciate any point of view on this, specifically a womans, who may have been in similar relationship, or someone who's currently in a relationship like this.Thanks a lot.
View related questions:
her past Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jjang19  +, writes (17 March 2011):
Most girls enjoy oral as much or more than sex. But think about getting surgery. It will boost your self confidence, your libido and your sex life will pick up shortly afterwards
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): You have absolutely nothing to worry about here.You are both big. So what. What you don't realise is she is probably worrying just as much about you about her body, her cellulite and her breast size and whether or not you will find her attractive. It is not easy being big sometimes in todays fatist world especially if you are female. I speak from my own experience.You are worrying about nothing with regards to the size of your manhood. Believe me this is the last thing on her mind. She wants to spend time with you and wants to get to know YOU. Take your time and just relax and the rest will come naturally. Spend time stroking her hair and telling her she is lovely. Dont ruin everything by blurting out about your penis size. Women really dont care at all......
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): You are my brother man, small penis and big bodies all the way man!dude, its not the size, its how you use it, an over done phrase, but very true. I felt the exact same way, because of that physical "problem" but its not a problem at all mate, not even close, she loves you, and so, there is no problem, as long as both your hearts still yearn for eachother, then your penis will be the most satisfying one in the world to her, I should know, you should ask my fiance :D
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 March 2011):
 Screwing up is a harsh word. You didn't tell her sooner about your penis size, and the fears you carry with it. I wouldn't call that screwing it up. There's no guide to how one should act and should tell the other, the best rule is to tell when you feel comfortable with telling. Not at a certain time.
I would advice you to talk to your girlfriend about the fears you carry. To cover my own back here, as penis size questions are an overheated topic in this forum, telling a woman your penis size is not mandatory. A woman should love you and your penis just the same as you should love her and whatever cellulites or saggy breasts she has. But, this is about more than you having a small penis. This about you not feeling sure you will do for her, feeling unsure about your weight as well, and worried about the physical part of your relationship.
So, talking about it is the way to go. No need to strip down and get naked, you should do that only when you feel the relationship is ready for that level of intimacy. But you could tell her your size, and tell her that is causes you concern and you feel insecure about it. Much like anyone who has a "dark secret" would feel worried about how their partner will react once they find out.
You should tell her, and not just let her find out and get shocked. It could be she's got no problem with your penis at all, but when getting naked for the first time don't you want to know that she is prepared? Don't you want to feel comfortable? Or do you want to be thinking "oh here we go, hope she doesn't reject me, do I look stupid, this is horrible, what should I do, should I cover up" etc., and be all nervous and dreading it.
Her sexual experience will work to your advantage, depending on what experience she's had. Hopefully her experience will have given her the knowledge of how to treat a person right in bed, taught her some skills on how to move around, made her more comfortable with herself so she is free to do more things and not afraid to speak up about her desires and needs. If all her sexual experience was bad experience she could be struggling with things, feeling embarrassed etc. But more likely her sexual experience will be a bonus to you, as she will know how to work it in bed.
Next I will tell you that your large frames will cause an extra challenge. It depends on how your bodies are, it could be going smooth and that you are lucky and things work out great. But with lots of extra fat it becomes more difficult to move around, to find comfortable positions, to reach certain places and so on. Are you a virgin? If so you should tell her. As for how your bodies will interfere or not interfere with the sexual act, you just have to wait and see. There is no solution to be given until you have found out what poses a problem. So far it's all hypothetical, and as I like to say: don't take the griefs in advance. Wait until you get to the mountain to cross it. So wait with trying to solve the physical aspect of your relationship until you actually reach the physical aspect of your relationship.
But do tell her your concerns. Talk about these things. I will also add that it is likely that your penis is smaller due to your weight. You gain weight around the base of the penis as well, making it smaller than it would be if you were not overweight.
Best of luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): "1.)Can this work, my small penis and our larger frames?" Yes it can, most women don't orgasm through penetration anyway, the only drawback is the amount of positions you'll be limited to.
"2.)Have i screwed up by not telling her earlier that I have a rather small penis?" No, penis size isn't an issue you discuss with someone when you first start dating is it? No it's not. Honestly it's kind of irrelevant. Just make sure you give awesome oral and manual and she won't care.
"3.)Should I tell her, or just let her find out?" I wouldn't, just make sure you read up on how best to use it, oral sex techniques to offset your worries. Look it's most likely not going to be an issue unless you make it one. No matter what your size women want a confident self assured sexual partner not one scared of his penis size. Honestly let it go because you'll find a way around it.
"4.)She's had by far more sexual experience than me, will this make my problem worse?" It shouldn't and most likely won't.
Look if she loves you and you are able to pleasure her sexually, whether that is through penetration, oral or manual stimulation then it won't matter at all, don't make it a big deal because it isn't.
If it becomes and issue then that's down to her, that means she doesn't love you as much as you thought. You see penetration is not the only way of sexual satisfaction and most women never achieve orgasm through it anyway. So don't worry about it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): Please, please stop worrying. Penetrative sex is not the only way in which you and your girlfriend can give pleasure to one another.
You say she is much more experienced than you? Well, let her guide you.
Everything will be fine and, if at any stage, you feel your love-making is not happening as you would expect, or like, don't panic, just go back to whatever you were doing that gave you pleasure.
You will both work this out between you.
...............................
|
