A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm pushing 30 and I feel like my life has been one giant lack of progress.I have no idea how I got into such a massive rut. If I could wish myself into the perfect life...Relationship: A loving man who wants to share his life with me. The modest little home together.. doesn't have to be flash, but just ours. We both share the same desire to raise a family together and cherish the outdoors.Workwise: I'm not looking for wealth or huge success, only a job I enjoy - something that I'm passionate about which makes a difference or enables me to use a natural talent I have. Instead of these things, I have the world's WORST job full of office politics, bullying and crap. No matter HOW hard I work.. how many additional hours I put in, my boss will pick fault. I have the lovely MAN in my life who I love more than anything, but I've waited for years.. and I think his fear of commitment will prevent us from ever moving forward so far as even living together.This is NOT where I wanted to be at this age and I'm really getting nervous. My biological clock is ticking. How did my life work out SO OPPOSITE to the one I really want and have wanted for so long now? I keep thinking what I have is a good foundation to grow from, but nothing seems to ever change.I really love this man, but all the talking in the world seems to make no difference. I know that he loves me, but I'm realising he has this real fear of making big changes in his life and moving forward. I don't want to stay with him because I love him, but wake up at 36 and realise I could've had a family and a happy life with someone else.. but I've missed my chance!Please help. Have you ever been in this situation? Walking away from someone you whole-heartedly love, that you have pictured your future and family with is extremely painful to even think about.. but I guess that's all I can do. I have always let my heart rule my head, but my emotional connections to things and people around me have kept me anchored in the one place. My mother tells me I've wasted my 20's and I feel she's right, as much as I hate to admit it. :( Thanks for at least reading anyway.
View related questions:
my boss Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (8 September 2010):
 go have dinner with him,and talk about how you want to start a family soon.give him some time and ask him to answer you soon because you dont see this relationship moving forward and you know what you want.make sure,like i said,to do this in a public setting,so u wont feel uncomfortable if u have to leave.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (8 September 2010):
 You seem like you are very sure about your goals, so if anything that should help simplify things. Either your boyfriend shares your goals and future outlook on life, or he doesn't. To me, though, it sounds like you already know what the answer to that is.
On a slightly separate note, you may want to try to not be so tough on yourself. Goals are important, yes, but not at they should be for motivation not for putting yourself down. A mother shouldn't be telling you that you wasted your 20's. Your 20's are about discovering yourself and figuring out what you want to do with your life. I'm guessing you get your "goal setting" from your mother. For the record, you have not wasted your 20's. This is a man you love and hoped you'd share the same goals. If not, it may be time to move on but you by no means wasted anything. Hind-sight is always 20/20 so it's easy for you and your mom to look back and say what you should have done. Life is about experiences.
As far as your job? NO job is perfect. Everybody has some complaint about their job. And wherever there are groups of people together there will always be politics involved. You make the best of it or you change jobs.
My point in all of this is, don't spend your life looking for the perfect situation be it job or relationship. Sometimes jobs and relationships aren't what they are, but what you make out of them. You haven't wasted any of your life yet. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): You are still young but get out of this relationship now. Look for a new job. The things you ask for, well they are not a lot! and they are something you can get.
...............................
|
