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writes:I think I have bad people skills, so I'd like some opinions on what everyone thinks about small talk and chit chat.When I meet someone new, I always think to myself that I should say something more than "Nice to meet you" and/or "How are you doing." But I feel like small talk and chit chat sounds so insincere, so I tend to avoid it. Then I feel like I'm being rude and there's an awkward silence. (Or at least +I+ think it's awkward.) I want to say something, but feel like the person might think "Why does she want to know about my personal life? Weirdo!" (like where the person works, etc.)What do all of you think about small talk? Would you rather not have someone ask you questions and talk about topics like weather or what's happening in the news? Or do you like talking about stuff like that? I'm always worried that I'll come off as phony, boring or look like I'm prying into someone's life.Thanks! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, moo. (just saw your answer...after i wrote my last response.) those are good ideas. i've thought about stuff like that, but just thought the person would think "why does she want to know?" it's good to hear that i probably wouldn't come off as sounding like a busy body. thanks for your advice!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys - thanks for the responses. And Carina's response really helped me out. Thanks for taking the time to let me hear about how you used to feel the same way and giving me your perspective on things. It makes sense. And it's probably better to make small talk and learn about someone new rather than just stand around looking at each other or getting straight down to business if I have a reason to meet with the person. Thank you!
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reader, moomoomoo +, writes (27 April 2007):
 you won't come out as phony unless you feel like you're being phony! pretend like you're not and stick with the thought that you can respond with "what's wrong with me saying this?" By the way, if you needed some chit chat advice past how are you doing, it usually begins with talking about something in the environment. Let's say some person was really goofy in class, you'd be like "lol so what was up with that guy?" .. you can really talk about anything.. at work be like "so how long are you working till?" you get what i mean? observe your surroundings and you can probably find simple things to talk about, and that goes on to bigger things
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reader, beautifulllove +, writes (27 April 2007):
 your fine some ppl are differnt and some don't like the small talk but hey always actions speak louder than words so talking isnt everything ! good luck
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reader, waza2007  +, writes (27 April 2007):
hiya,many women and men dont like small talk - you shoudlnt be worried about it.actually its almost an attuide - and it can be very sexy and a turn-on.the person you are talking to is going to be with you for who you are (im sure youve heard this a billion times) and you shouldnt put on a act for them or its never going to workmaybe this helped - let me knowlv waza x
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reader, Carina  +, writes (26 April 2007):
 I used to feel exactly like you so I know what you mean. Some of us are worse at small talk than otheres, and it is that feeling that we're being insincere. However, there are things to keep in mind:
Everyone likes to talk about themselves! Asking questions is fine as long as you don't get too personal. For examle you can ask 'What do you do? Do you work?' and then see what they say. If they don't want to discuss it they'll make it obvious so change the subject, but most people will. Then ask more questions about the job. Be genuinely interested and admit if you don't know about it. If you look at people you know you'll find that the most charming and likeable people ask lots of questions!
Also, remember that being a listener is much more likeable than being a talker, so don't feel you haver to make conversation all the time. As long as you nod and smile and show that you're listening, you'll be fine.
Remember that most people feel the same as you do and will happily talk about anything, like the weather, the news etc. If it helps, before you meet people, gen up on a couple of subjects of interest. Great ones are news scandals, celebrity gossip, or something humourous that's been in the news. There's always someone who wants to talk about that kind of thing! Just try to be yourself and talk about anything that comes into your head...unless it's rude..:-) Good luck!
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