| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I can't help but notice my b/f noticing other girls--especially when driving---i understand guys will look..i really get that..girls look too..but i really don't do it that much or at all if with him. Glancing with eyes is ok i guess--i cant expect his eyes to the floor..but sometimes i notice him even turning his head to the left or right when driving and i know its not for driving--b/c of course there is a girl to the left or right when he does it. It really bothers me and i have let it go. But i a made a comment this morning when he did it and said--see something you like? and he just looks at me and says what are you talking about--he probably doesnt even know he does it..i didnt say anything but later wrote a text saying--you turned your head to look at a girl and thats why i made a sarcastic comment. talk to you later though...was it wrong for me to say something? I know it may sound insecure but i really dont think turning your head to the left or right is glancing anymore. It makes me feel bad when he does that and he is holding my hand..i think glancing is with the eyes--not head movements--am i really wrong?
View related questions:
insecure, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (9 September 2006):
 Almost all men look, but at different times and in different circumstances.
Will I sometimes look at a woman when I'm walking down the street alone? Yes. But will I do it when I am out with my girlfriend? Very rarely, and never blatantly.
You need to make it crystal clear to him that it bothers you. No metaphors, tell him directly. But not in an accusitory or angry way. Just stick to describing how it makes you feel. Once you have done this he needs to stop. If he doesn't then he's not showing you the respect you deserve.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2006): All guys look hon, that's the way it is. Women look too, but women apparantly have better peripheral vision than men so we don't have to turn our heads to "perve". That's why it's more obvious when a man is staring at a woman, he has to turn his head. But women probably do it just as much. But you are right, when you are with him, he should be looking only at you, and maybe you need to tell him this, be up front about it. Ask him how he'd like it if you were checking out other guys right in front of him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (9 September 2006):
 Anon responder, please don't generalize about men - "they all react the same way". Your attitude is as distasteful as those you scorn. It is insulting in the extreme.
Anon poster, if your man continues to deny ogling other women, and if you find it affects your self esteem, then you should consider dumping this guy.
Insecurity is NOT the issue here - it is his dishonesty that is rubbing you the wrong way. If he cannot admit to a behaviour that everyone else can plainly see, then you have to wonder about the other faults he not acknowledging.
The more you choose to rationalize away with his offensive behaviour, the worse you will feel about yourself. This leads to a lopsided relationship.
Your self-respect is at stake here. Act now before you lose it. Good luck and take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): All Men look..
What I loathe is they all react the same way..."I wasn't looking," "I didn't even notice her". etc. etc. They all must share a book of excuses! LOL
Just tell him..like I do mine.. "When you are by yourself,
look all you want, but when you are with me have the decency to give ME your attention!
Don't feel bad for telling him this!
Good Luck Hun! :)
...............................
A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (8 September 2006):
 Look you need to let your boyfriend know that it hurts when he does this in your company....whatever about looking when he's with the lads or whatever its not fair that he does it in your company...all eyes should be on you and you only! I have just come out of a relationship with a guy like that and Its not easy because he denied it but the fact of the matter is that he's doing something that makes you feel bad...
You need to try and meet him in the middle however, this is also part of your own insecurity and you need to tell him that you are aware of this, he should respect this...ask him how it would make him feel if you were to be seen looking at other guys while holding your hand...cause I know that it makes you feel like the person they are staring at is chuffed that they can make a guy look away from their girlfriend!
He has gotta respect that this doesn't aid your insecurity...believe me if you ignore this it will eat you up inside and you will end up begrudging him for it.
Honesty is the best policy!
...............................
|
