A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So my husbands best freind is somebody who I dont care for. When i first met him, he bragged about how he was cheating on his girfriend to me and my husband. So I dont HATE him, I just wouldnt trust him if i were a girl. Well he has a fiance now and I also dislike her. She is an attractive flirty girl, who i will admit would feel threatened by. Well my husband has her phone number just in case ha cant get in touch with his freind. Am I over reacting for my husband having her number? I dont have the phone numbers to my friends spouses. Well besides that, we ran into them in a restaraunt, and my husband sat ride beside her and talked to her while leaving me standing or offering me a seat.. so that made me uneasy. After asking for strength to forgive him for these actions, I do until last night. He voluntarily tells me that he had got a text from her asking who he was. Well it turns out she had her number changed and that if this new stranger has her new number, then the only was she could obtain his number is if he had texted her first...right? What in the world should i do? After he told me, i couldnt hide the look on my face and became really sad and reminded of all the past incidents. He acknowledge my sadness by hugging me and telling me he loved me, but i never told him how i really felt about it. So Im just so sick today, and dont know if i should forget it, or confront him to see what he says.
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (1 January 2010):
 I dont think you have much to go on here so if you do ask, be very calm and open about it.
She may have a new number coz she has a new phone, was simply transferring numbers across and unsure of the number/contact, texted to see if it was someone she should put in a new phone.
Also, if she had to check a number, obviously she is not familiar with it, so this does not indicate she has been recieving calls or texts from it and that therefore it is unlikely anything is going on - otherwise she would recognize the number - right?
A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (31 December 2009):
"confront him" no. Talk to him about it - yes.Explain gently to him that you are hurting and feeling insecure, and that you need for him to cut off contact with this woman. He is your husband, and needs to have enough respect for you and your pain to do this small favor. In the meantime. I would go onto the website of your phone provider, and see if there's a way to look at the number of calls to and from which numbers, etc. You need to know if there's more going on.
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