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female
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anonymous
writes: So now that college is almost over for the year, i found out that one of my boyfriend's friends is moving to the city we live in instead of another one as planned. I don't much like this guy as my boyfriend has made mistakes with him like smoking ocassionally with him, etc. I know he is bad news and that he will want to see my boyfriend partically every night even though they will be working together. I know from the past this year when there was a college strike for a month my boyfriend came home to stay and visit me. His friend got all annoyed and started bitching to him about how he was wasting a months rent. This stress was put onto my boyfriend and then passed on to me. I feel as though he is trying to fight for my boyfriend's attention. Things happened during the school year that we were going to fix this summer that will be impossible with him there every single day. I believe he is a bad infleuence and i dislike him. How can i get him out of my boyfriends and my life? I need help, i am tired of this. Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (21 April 2006):
 Love to be honest you can't get him out of his life! Being in a relationship means accepting their friends as well, sure there will be some you will hate and some you will like. But it is not for you to decide whether your boyfriend meets up with them or not, and you can't stop him either.
If you two have had problems and you were planning to sort them out this summer then make sure you let your boyfriend know your concerns. You should talk to him about it and make sure he knows just how worried you are. That way you have told him. Then it is up to your boyfriend who he puts first!
Will he blow you off completely for this mate? What I'm trying to get at is that if this guy is worth sticking around for than he will listen to you, understand you, and make a concious effort to address what you have said to him. He will not blow you off every night to go and see his friend, he will talk to you about things that need to spoken about,
but if he doesn't then he's not really worth it, you would just upset yourself by waiting for him to be someone he's not!
Also at the same time, don't expect him not to see his friend either. Relationships are two way, give and take, now you have to start giving... When I say that I mean give him your understanding and give him the freedom to have his own social life. You can't control him. He will go out with his mate (just as he will go out with you as well) Its up to him to decide if he wants to hang around with him or not.
At the end of the day, ask yourself, if he's doing soemthing you don't like, is he the right man for you? and also, Is he actually doing anything wrong, or are you just scared to spend time apart from him?
I haven't meant to cause any offence in writing this, just read and re-read what I've written and see if it relates to you in any way......
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