| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am 22 This year and my boyfriend is 40. were finding it realy hard but we get on do well, we have the same starsign and enjoy the same things and sometimes we forget the number were labeled by. hes already been married and has a 13year old. i really want to be with him and forget the complecation of the relationship when were together. do you think we can make this work? i believe if it feels right and ment to be together we can make it work. but he seems alright some days but then its like he hits reality and kinda acts strange and goes quiet. it also stresses him out a lot and i try to cheer him up and remind him of the reasons why we love eachother. but i hate making him feel like this what can we do to make it work and got stress him out so much Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (21 April 2006):
 When my husband and I first met he was 35 and I was 22, like you. Not quite such a big gap, but I understand the feelings. The age difference can be an obstacle, but all obstacles can be overcome. You need to find out what aspect of the age gap bothers him the most. Is he worried about what people think? Does he not want to pass on the burden of a teenage girl onto you? Does he think that because you are younger you will get bored and cheat on him or leave him?
This was my husband's concern before we got married, he thought that later down the line I might think I was missing out on something by having an older husband and want to experiment. In the end we actually sat down and went through each other's sex lives (something I thought i would never do) and it turned out I was actually more sexually experienced than he was. Strange how that actually made him feel better!
I am not saying that this is the solution to your problem, but try to find out exactly what his fears are, and find your own way to assure him.
|
