A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do , there's 2 guys that like me and I like them they are both very different from each other with their personalities. If they were moulded together they'd be perfect for me. Ok so ill call them a + b . A is older quieter n takes his time over things sometimes too long has a job drives lives about 10 mile away. B is confident outgoing lives 6 mile away drives has a job he's my age knows what he wants. I don't feel they'd be a lot of passion with a but he seems more the settling type where as b has more passion but I'm not 100% confident he would settle down as soon as would want to , I don't want to find someone else instead I do want one of these guys just not sure which Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2014): I'm the op , I like a lot of thing from both men that's y its hard to choose I agree with the advice from the woman who mentioned her parents , no1 is perfect and I cud wait a very long time for someone who ticks every single box but I think I would be single forever if I did that I want to live for the moment and take an oppertunity I've been given if it fails then at least I can say I tried and then learn from this
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 December 2014):
Are you hiring for a job or looking for a life partner?
why would you settle for one or the other when NEITHER is what you really want?
truth be told, WHEN you meet the guy that pushes ALL your buttons you won't be posting here asking for advice you will instinctively know what to do.
Basically the answer is NONE of the above.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2014): Time will tell. Just keep getting to know them and spending time with them and eventually, probably without you even noticing, something's going to click, you're suddenly going to be more inclined toward one of them than the other. You're actions are going to eventually answer your question as in time you'll find yourself avoiding one of their phone calls all the while feeling closer and developing a loyalty toward the other guy.
It'll all fall into place in due time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2014): If the goal is marriage then go for the one who seems more that way inclined...I really wouldn't know what to do but couldn't you try dating one of them and don't sleep with him or get too involved until you really feel like you have feelings for him and it could work then if it doesn't get to that stage you can try the other guy out lol? But I think you're right to want to pick one of them rather than waiting for someone perfect because you probably won't find him-my mum liked various things about my dad and this other on and off boyfriend she had around the time she met him,she said combined they would have made the perfect man but she ended up dumping my dad and going back to the other guy but wouldn't marry him because she wasn't sure and after 16 years he ended it and rather than trying to get him to stay and marrying him she went in search of someone who had all the qualities she wanted and never found him.Having said that you don't want to rush into anything either,I did that and ended up in a really violent relationship
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (14 December 2014):
 why settle? Why not find a man who ticks all the boxes?
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (14 December 2014):
Sorry, neither. I hear NOTHING about how much you enjoy their company, how good you feel in their presence, how much you have in common or how well they treat you, let alone any mention of love.
Settling for the sake of settling is no life to live.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 December 2014):
 But WHY do you absolutely want one of these guys? You say yourself neither are ideal, and you're not sure... Maybe you just need more time to get to know both guys and see which one you can see yourself with? You don't sound invested in either right now, so letting them both go shouldn't be too complicated. And, you shouldn't try to force yourself to feel things for a guy if the feelings just aren't there. If you're not feeling it is "right" with either, then you will just end up regretting your decision later on. It truly is better to be alone, than to be with the wrong man.
But if you absolutely must have a man, for whatever reason you've not told us, then I say go with the man with less passion who wants to settle. Because passion at the beginning on a relationship/when you just met says NOTHING about how passionate the relationship will be later on. Whereas if a guy isn't ready to settle, you pretty much know how things will play out from the beginning. And with A, you get to settle at your speed, and passion can be built.
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