A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I don't understand what is going through my ex's head!He broke up with me over 2 months ago, claiming he needed space and wasn't ready for a serious relationship... for a period of about 5/6 weeks after this he did not initiate ANY contact with me.Having all this time without contacting each other. Out of the blew, he started talking to me on facebook again. Just the usual friendly banter to begin with, then he recently began flirting with me (very strongly on one occasion) but I didn't flirt back. Over the past couple of weeks, he has been lovely towards me and has chatted to me many times. When he talks to me, I forget that we're not together anymore! The realisation really hurts because I have strong feelings for him and want him back. The situation is that I am trying my hardest to get over him, e.g. by flirting with another guy on facebook because I have lost hope that we'll get back together. I was managing quite well whilst he wasn't speaking to me, but now that we're talking again I am finding it increasingly difficult to move on. I don't know whether this sudden change in behaviour is an indication that he possibly wants me back and is trying to worm his way back into my life? or that he is just being friendly and doesn't want our break up to affect our friendship? I feel like I shouldnt give up on him just yet! but then if I didn't, I'd probably be wasting my time on him. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ctds001 +, writes (17 June 2010):
Honey
Personally I think he is keeping you on a string.
At the moment he's not requesting a date or anything, are you sure he is really looking to get back with you?
How will you feel in 2 weeks time if he tells you he has a new girlfriend? Or has been sleeping with other women?
Most men when single do not sit at home twiddling their thumbs.
Get out have some fun, because I am sure he is!
Good luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thank you for your insight!
But he is giving me yet more mixed signals now! Last night he made references to when we were together and recalled an amusing conversation we'd had! Then he was flirting again and kept me talking to early hours in the morning. And before he went offline he told me to initiate a convo with him next time he's on, since its always been him who has been starting the convo.
I was on such a high afterwards, he just makes me so happy!
So you can understand why I'm so confused about the situation.
I do want to move on but it feels impossible when he is talking like this to me x
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A
female
reader, ctds001 +, writes (16 June 2010):
Hey Honey,
It's very hard to get over a break up and your post says you were trying to get on with your life. But now he has contacted you, your feelings are mixed up.
1) He did not contact you for 5/6 weeks. If he wanted to reconcile properly I don't think the cool off period would have been so long.
2) he does the flirting because he can, it's familiar to him.
3) Get on with your life. You broke up for a reason, just keep that in mind when you start thinking you want him back.
4) He possibly wants friendship that's why he didn't contact you for so long - hoping you would have moved on. But you are not ready to just be friends.
Good luck x
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