A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically, to try and cut a long story short.. I was in an abusive relationship for 11 months, i got cheated on and there were kids behind my back etc.. And at 16, getting knocked out by your 'loving boyfriend' was pretty horrible :( as i finally managed to get out of the relationship, i ended up jumping straight into a new one.. As i was frightened of being on my own.this guy is amazing, i've been with him for 7 going on 8 months now. I'm now 17 and a half and as much as he is an amazing person, i still find it hard to trust him and wonder what he's doing. I'm anorexic and bulimic as a result of my past and i feel as though i've pushed myself away from this wonderful guy and i don't feel the same anymore.it hurts me to feel this way because i know full well he is the 'perfect' guy that all girls talk about. But i feel like i rushed and my insecurities have ruined something.i don't know whether to carry on and to hope that i'll feel like i did, or to let him go. Maybe i don't deserve him :(
View related questions:
anorexic Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LoveDocBruce  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 Hello there anorexic,
You have described an interesting scenario. There a few things you can do. And each one requires you to think about you. Not your bf, not your relationship, just you.
You ask, do I deserve this guy? Yes. Whatever happened in the past wasn't your fault, and the past is exactly that. It's behind you. Move forward with this amazing guy. Tell him what happened, but don't dwell on it. Tell him your insecurities, tell him your fears, tell him how much you enjoy being with him. Tell him anything that comes into your head, pour it out. You need to open up to him. It will help you. It will help him understand. It will be easier to communicate after you take this step.
Don't leave anything out. Trust me when I say, it will be hard to start, but it just pours out after you get going.
Good luck!
Please let me know if you took my advice and send me a message of the outcome. Keep in touch!
-LoveDocBruce
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): Unless you have a good, solid reason NOT to trust him, why not take it a day at a time and enjoy the relationship?
Its understandable that you feel insecure, given your history and it might have been better not to rush into a new relationship. However, now that you have, try to relax.
You do need to work on the anorexia and bulimia, however, not to mention your fear of being alone. Your ex may have been abusive because he realized your neediness and took advantage. I'm not saying this to scare you, but you'll do a lot better if you work on learning to trust yourself, and becoming more self-reliant. Do you have a therapist? If not, you might consider finding one......by the way, what about your parents and other family? You need their support, you know!
Good luck!
...............................
|
