A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I dont know whether or not to tell my ex that I lost our baby last week or not. He was awful the way he broke up with me and told me not to contact him again. It was only in the very early stages of pregnancy and i didnt know i was pregnant until the doctors told me that my horomones that risen so i did a urine sample and had an ultrasound and they said i was no longer pregnant. What should i do... Does he legally have to know.... Help please...!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): If you are looking for support and comfort nothing you have wrote leads me to think that he would offer you that. I could understand letting him know had he of treated you better and that is possible even when breaking up but in your own words he was awful to you and told you never to contact him again.If you feel that it is important to share with him you lost your baby in the early stages then yes i agree it would normally be the respectful thing to do. But i only hope that if you do you are not left feeling ore hurt by his response as i suspect he wont be looking to offer you any comfort.He does not legally need to know though if that is all you are worried about x
A
female
reader, glam231 +, writes (1 December 2009):
Did he know about the baby? If he didnt now just keep your mounth closed. But if he did know just say "I lost the baby I thought you had a right to know.This will be the last time you will ever here from me."If he says somthing like it all your fault"Just reply mabey its your fuckin fualt for leaving me and giving me the added stress
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A
female
reader, CaliMoore +, writes (1 December 2009):
I think that it would be a good idea to tell him as he was the father, but as you said 'he was awful the way he broke up' with you.
So i would advise you do contact him but NOT face to face if possible, As he did ask you not to contact him.
But if you could contact him via text or email i think he would accept the contact. Its then up to him if he wishes to contact you back about the matter, if not you've told him and you have no reason to be troubled by it anymore, you've done your part.
Hope this helps, feel free to email me :)
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A
female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (1 December 2009):
I had a miscarriage the same day i found out the father to it had cheated on me. I didn't tell him about losing the baby until a year and a half later. It ate at me everyday up to when i told him. I wrote it in txts so many times but just never found the strength to actually send them. He cried when he found out and i can speak to him about the ordeal now especially when the experience all comes back to me...i have someone there who understands and feels the same as me. If i did it all again i would have told him the day it happend. Don't do what i did because trust me u will feel guilt and you may need him for support. He would understand why you contacted him even though he told you not to. He doesn't legally have to know no.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): hiya, No you do not have to legally let him know and from your brief descripton of him i dont think he needs to be told either. I doubt you would gain anything positive from letting him know you lost your baby. If he isnt a nice man then cut your losses, move on and forget about him, i think there is a lot to be said about the way someone is when they break up with you and he showed his true colours to you. Forget him and concentrate on looking after number one....you and make sure that you are getting the support you may need to get over losing your baby x
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