A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So confusing!My bf/partner/whatever you call him is driving me mental. One minute he is acting like having kids is the last thing on his agenda for years, the next minute hes saying kids are great and who wouldn't want them. He also said twice that he can afford to be a dad in the next few months. Then, he seems to be hinting about getting engaged... then suddnely hes talking about holidays and cars instead! What is going on?!One day he said we should get a car, that even if he buys it that it would be both of ours... the next week he said it would be HIS car and he is entitled to his own stuff. What?!We've been together four years, are in our mid/late twenties, and living together for a few years. I would just like to know where I stand, and what he has in mind for our future. I ask him sometimes, and he is vague. These comments only come out in conversation accidently it seems. It causes me to be only semi-honest with him - Sometimes I speak honestly by hinting/speaking about how I want these things and at other times I try to get on board with waiting a few more years for a proposal and a baby because it seems to be what he is planning/intending.What should I do?It seems like his all of his friends, in being single, may be influencing him into waiting. Any advice would be greatly, greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, bardia  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 If you've been together this long & he's waffling this much in your relationship then it's time to move on. He sounds very selfish. He probably likes being with you, but given that you're living together already he probably doesn't feel he needs to take any further steps. Guys like this are like Peter Pan. They have an idea of a little dream world they want to stay in forever. You could ask him once more and flat out just WHEN he plans to marry you. If he beats around the bush & tries to placate you then you have your answer. You're still plenty young enough to start over w/someone else. Don't waste your life on a noncommittal slug of a man-child.
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