A
female
age
51-59,
*stMe
writes:My husband was working overseas for several months. During this time we carried on a healthy phone sex relationship. After he came home, I discovered not only he was having an affair, but that he had sex with her while we were having phone sex. Of course I feel betrayed and devestated, but I have been having fantasies about him with the other woman while I called him. What is this about?!!!
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affair, phone sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): I suppose the only good thing to be said about this is that he was thinking of you whilst having sex with someone else. Usually it's the other way round!
A
female
reader, JstMe +, writes (8 August 2008):
JstMe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all. I knew intuitively it wasn't all that unusual, but hearing it helps. Being in this situation sucks unbelievably.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): StudentofLife is correct about that being a turn-on. My wife and I have sometimes talked about previous partners. Not to turn us on, but sometimes it does anyway. I sometimes even get turned on by her having sex with some guy who I wish she had never jumped into bed with. She laughs at me.
All of her boyfriends were before me, so it is different than what you have suffered. I just want to say that I am sorry that this had to happen to you. Having an affair is bad enough, but having phone sex with you while he was screwing her is very cruel. No one deserves that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): I think its pretty normal - there is a "taboo" feel to it - but in most cases this is something that us men dream about in reference to seeing their wives with someone. My wife too cheated on me a year ago and to this day though i am emotionally hurt I fantasize about her being with the other man - during that time period i noticed she was much more sexual with me and thus there we were doing things she had never tried - now I can not forgive her for what she had done but sexually I get aroused - I know its weird but it happens. Maybe you are finding a sexual side to yourself you didnt know you had. If you can overlook his cheating emotionally (which is very difficult) you may have gained something new in a physical sense. Though be warned - he has cheated (at least once) im sure he will again.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 I do feel more aroused when I do something I'm not supposed to. The fact that it's illegal adds up to the filthiness of it.
Some people are turn on when their partner having sex with someone else.
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