A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do - I have fallen for a guy who is married. I think he also has a kid but I'm not sure, although I've seen him around with the kid a couple of times now. The thing is that we both really like each other but nothing physical has ever happened between us.. yet. I've tried to control my feelings towards him because I know this isn't right but just when I'm sort of forgetting about him I'll see him again, and it's like we're being forced together. What can I do, because there's no avoiding him as I keep seeing him around everywhere, normally like at least twice a week. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): I'm in a similar situation. Recently my assistant manager was switched to a different store and the company brought the assistant manager from the other store to ours.
I was so upset about it first because I knew the new assistant manager was married with a kid and had slept with another woman in the company several times. And I really didn't want to be around him.
But than I worked with him one on one and it was different. I found out he was a pretty good guy. I knew from before(I am friends with someone in the new assistant manager's store) that he was very unhappily married and that his wife was horrible to him and called several times a night to just yell at him. He doesn't want to get a divorce because he is terrified that he would lose all rights to his son.
He's funny and sweet, when he wants to be. He's sarcastic and a good worker. He's crazy about his son. He's a lot like me. Now mind you I'm 19 and he's 29. So there's a difference in age.
We started harmlessly flirting and than it started to get less harmless and more physical. And than last night I was working him with after hours doing inventories while the carpets were getting cleaned and we kissed. And things got heavy but we didn't sleep together.
So now I'm very confused. I know it's wrong and I don't know if he's still seeing the other girl, but last night his flirting became more like interest in me, as a person. Not just sleeping with me.
I don't know what to do. I can't get away from him because I work all the time and so does he. And its a close contact job where you have to talk all the time and generally be in the same area, and the attraction is so strong. I just wish he would get a divorce so things wouldn't be so hard. Because I've started to care about him and I need to stay away from him because I'm not a home wrecker. I know his wife knows he cheats on her because she's a smart woman but she's also a very mean woman.
It's a terrible situation, but the jist of it is, stay away. Until he gets a divorce, he's off limits.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): Leave him alone, My husband has just had an affair with a young girl 14 years younger, if you could feel the betrayal of this u would never think of causing any other woman this pain. Don't believe it if they say 'it's over' or 'we don't sleep together'. It's not and they do. Find a single man.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (31 July 2007):
 Danielpew has the right answer.......back off. In this case, what you want, is not important. If you wanted your neighbors car, would you steal it? I hope not. Don't steal someone else's husband and father. It's wrong and you've already said so.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (31 July 2007):
 You need to understand that this married man has a commitment with another woman, who would not deserve the pain you would cause her if you ever had something with her husband. This alone should stop you from entertaining these thoughts.
You also need to worry about yourself. Do you want to be responsible for a broken home? What would be your real chances of being with him? What about the kid? If you're not sure he has a kid, do you really know him well?
I think it's also in your best interest to stay away from all the trouble of dating a married man.
What you can and must do, is forget about him. There's plenty of SINGLE fish in the ocean.
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