A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm trying to figure out what happened.There is a bar that i frequently go to and yesterday, St. Patrick's Day I met one of my friends up there for a little celebration. We began bar hopping on the strip and i we both ended back up at the bar we started at. She left when i was in the bathroom and I began talking to one of the bouncers. I by this point i was full of drinks and shots and knew i couldn't drive home. As the night came to an end my friend still was no where to be found and i the person who said that they would pick me up wasn't answering. The bouncer volunteered to drive me home. As we were walking out of the bar I asked him where his car was and he said he didn't have one but he was going to drive mine and stay they night. In my drunkeness i agreed. I blacked out after that but remember that we had sex. I think I may have consented but i don't know. I feel like this is a stupid question but was I sexually assaulted?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 March 2009):
 http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/drug-facilitated-assault
This might help you in your decision. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): You didn't get raped, you got drunk and took the men home and had sex with him.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 March 2009):
I think the rule is that if you are so drunk that you are incoherent, that you are not capable of consent. Therefore, it is a sexual assault. Whether or not you remember isn't the issue; it's that you were not in a position to say "no" if you were blitzed.
I have a link for you. This organization has trained counselors to deal with questions like this and they should be able to guide you better than we might be able to here.
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline
I hope this helps you figure out what needs to happen and how you can cope with this.
All the best.
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A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (19 March 2009):
 Also, it is always better to take a taxi than to get a ride home from a stranger! Even if it costs you $30 or $50 bucks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have seen him working at the bar before but never talked to him until last night, thank you for your advice i appreciate it
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A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (19 March 2009):
He took advantage of your drunken state, it sounds like. In other words, he raped you. You could probably press charges, if you'd like. I know that where I live that this scenario actually classifies as rape and people have been charged with it before.
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