A
female
age
36-40,
*inkbomb
writes:Me and my partner have been together for 2 years just over, when we first got together we did the usual go out get drunk like young people do, I did notice on a few of these occasions that he could be very nasty in the names that he called me but he would always laugh it off the next day and say he was messing around. Things started to get serious between us and he moved in with me, things where fine until we had words not even a row and he would walk out saying that he was going for a walk. 3 days later he would turn up after not answering his phone and just say that he was sorry he was a twat and he wouldn't do it again but he did... again and again then I fell pregnant but unfortunately I lost the baby.A couple of months after we started to try for another one and I got pregnant quite easy which we were both pleased about but then he got very distant and even told me to go have an abortion after we had both planned this baby, a few days later he apologised but still we continued to row and he would walk out for a few days and then come back. Well I had my little girl and she is now the apple of her daddy's eye but things between us are not much better. He gets invited to go on sailing trips which he doesn't get paid for so I say that they are a holiday and he goes mad saying I don't understand how hard it is but surely if it was that unpleasant why go... but if I wanted to go away with a friend without him he wouldn't have it at all, he still walks out without no reason whatsoever and I seriously don't know how I can go on like this, he's called me every name under the sun accused me of sleepng with other men when I don't even go out as I have baby with me all the time. I love him and don't want my daughter to grow up without a father but I'm thinking is he going to do this to our daughter when she's older, walk out when the going gets tough then come back a few days later saying it won't happen again? I need to know how to find the strength in me to know what to do for the best, if anybody could help I would be most grateful.
View related questions:
abortion, drunk, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (19 March 2009):
 I'm sorry you lost the first pregnancy. I am wondering why you tried again with this individual. Kids are always a blessing, but it seems as if their were enough negative signs to not try again until you were with someone who would be good to both you and the baby.
You need to end this relationship. Leaving for days at a time, verbally abusive, and not taking any responsibility for his poor behavior or working to change it, this is not an environment to raise your child.
I'm a single parent. When I got married, I didn't predict we'd be divorced. My kids are healthy and happy, because their mom and I continue a friendship to benefit them. His behavior shows he wants you for sex, and to be there when he gets back from whatever he's doing, and he wants unrestricted freedom.
If you're home all the time, and he's accusing you of cheating, and leaving for days at a time. I can pretty much guess who has been sticking something where it doesn't belong. Quite often, people who accuse are the ones who are doing what they are accusing their partner of. It's kind of a reverse guilt response.
I want you to look at this precious little girl you brought into the world. What do you want for her? To be brought up in a happy home, or to be around anger, stress and anxiety? You now have the choice of what environment you're going to raise her in. Remember, what he does to you, she learns and will accept as being okay if you do.
|
