A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im dating a guy whom ive dated before, it didnt work out the first time and I know its not going to work out this time either. He has been in love with me, i know this for a fact, since we've met about 7 years ago. The thing is right before we started dating for the second time I had sex with his brother. I know im a horrible person for doing this but I have strong feelings for his brother, I might even love him. The other thing is his brother has a girlfriend which I am also friends with which makes me an even more horrible person. Nobody knows what happened between me and the brother but I still can't help the way I feel about him. If I break up with my boyfriend not only will i break his heart but I wont be able to see my friends anymore. Maybe it would be better that way. I just don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): I am assuming you didn't have a gun to your head when you slept with your ex boyfriends brother?? I am just saying because if you did then the whole thing would make more sense. Because unless you did have a gun to your head, I cannot fathom any other reason why you would resort to that kind of behavior.
I don't know maybe you weren't shown good family values.
Frankly if I were you I would DUMP the brothers, find new friends and move on with your life. You have creted a very dramatic and painful situation for many people. You say that he will be heartbroken if you leave. He might be, but he would be more heartbroken in the long term if you stuck around and kept causing more turmoil. Just say goodbye and go.
Take this time to grow because you have ALOT of growing up to do. When you hurt others, whether it is through physical harm, through betrayal, insults, whatever, at the end of the day the only person you are hurting is yourself. Get out there and learn to LOVE yourself! Because if you don't love yourself you are not going to properly love others.
A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (19 June 2010):
 I think you should break up with this guy. But be gentle and try to be friends with him. It isn't fair to be stringing him along if you don't actually want to be with him.
As for the brother, talk to him. Maybe he feels the same way about you and it could start a relationship, although you should probably wait a while and keep it on the down low as it will crush your current boyfriend.
If this guy just used you for sex then you should let him know that it was wrong, that you feel awful and he should too.
You don't want to both be in relationships six months or so down the line before you blurt out how you feel.
good luck and keep us updated
xx
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