A
female
age
36-40,
*essica1986
writes:So my question has to deal with jealousy. I've been dating a great guy for about three months now. Things are going really well. He's always telling me how much he likes me and how happy he is. I guess the issue that's been driving me mad is a close friend of his is coming into town. They went to college together and have known each other MUCH longer then I've been in the picture. The thing thats making me feel ill is that she is staying with him for the week. I never realized I could get so shaken up about something like this. And the thing is I do trust him. I'm pretty confident that he won't cheat on me. I just know they have so much in common and they're going to be doing all these fun things together, particularly seeing a concert, dinner, playing catch-up. So earlier tonight I decided to address the issue and he was very reasonable and willing to listen. He wasn't upset with my jealousy, he just assured me that everything is fine and that by the end of all this i'll be able to keep my trust with him. I'm still bothered with this and like I said it has nothing to do with trust. I'm just jealous that he'll be giving in attention to another woman and I feel there's nothing I can do to rid these feelings. They're natural to me and won't seem to go away. Lately I've been having issues sleeping... I'm just so scared of getting hurt or letting my jealousy destroy my positive attitude and kill this relationship. Is there anything I can do to ease this situation? She's going to be in town in a few days and he already told me the first night she's here I won't have any fun because they're just going to catch-up on things and that I may feel left out and bored. That just made me more angry... but I know he's right! Ugh, it's such a pain! Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.Thanks!
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female
reader, jessica1986 +, writes (20 June 2010):
jessica1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all your responses so far. It's difficult to control these feelings but I had a talk with him about it again. I just stated that I am jealous, and there's really nothing he can do about it to change the way i feel. I hope to hang out with his friend and maybe we will all get along well. Maybe once I meet her I'll feel better and realized that this whole thing is a tad ridiculous. It is what it is. I'll just have to deal with it in the meantime. Thanks again!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): Your boyfriend thinks he has reassured you because he thinks this is a trust issue but he hasn't reassured yuo becasue its not a trust issue its a jealousy issue.
Go back to him and explain exactly what you are feeling and tal it over with him.
There really is no reason why you shouldnt be invited along if you feel jealous because you are being left out.
Im not sure id feel great about another girl having my boyfriend to herself for a few days (including evenings)
and not being invited along. Tell him youll feel better if you are more included, and that youd like a chance to get to know his friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): There is nothing that can change your feelings, your still going to feel the same way.
All you can really do is keep remembering that it will be all over in one week and things can go back to normal.
Try and make the most of the time and use this time to get to know this girl and perhaps become friends, if you honestly try and get along with her you may feel a lot more comfortable around her and you might be more comfortable with the fact they are spending this time together.
The last thing you want is tension between you two girls not only will you become unhappy you may look crazy infront of your b/f.
It's just one week you will be ok. If your b/f wanted to cheat he would no matter what you did to try and stop it, and your better off knowing what type of person he is in the early years of your relationship.
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