A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Met him on FB and we have been emailing each other for 6 months till we met and really like each others qualities. I am confident that he is a genuine person. The only issue is that he has a girlfriend. It was at the beginning stages when we got to know each other but now they have been together for a longer period. He was afraid that we may not work as we have not met out and he did not want to loose the other relationship as well. There was also a span where we stopped talking because he did not want to lead me on and did not want to do her wrong. We decided that we are friends and are definitely good friends because I cannot believe how comfy I am with him.He has been talking about how guilty he has been feeling about liking me.I already had plans to go back to this other country to sort some stuff and he picked me up and spend the day together and the following day he picked me, took me for breakfast and dropped me at my friends place where I was staying for a week.We are very attracted to each other and unfortunately we kissed and could not stop. I have never felt this much for someone before, I just loved kissing him and loved the way he held me.Of course I had qquestions for him, i did not want to do the wrong thing and that is when he was thinking. He had to leave me and hed into the office for a while and he came back and could not get off each other. He told me that he felt guilty with what happened earlier, then he said he told himself that he will be a gentleman but he can't as well because he is very attrated to me as well.Anyway he drops me, he kept kissing me and hugging me, said I will email you and i want to see you before you leave. Well I stayed about 1 hours' drive away from the city and it was too far to come out and get me. well he did not email, then when I emailed him, he did email back he said that he had fun and has not written because he feels terrible. I do know that he is afraid that if i moved countries that I might blame him.anyway he text me and said I will call you tomorrow. I never heard back after that and have emailed him to say bye and also told him that I am still his friend.I left that temporary number on till I got into the plane, i was still wishing for him to message me and say bye but i did not even get that.I dont know what is going on. I am willing honestly willing to let it work. I dont mind moving to that country because my job allows it.Am not sure but can someone tell me if he wants nothing to do with me? I think i have treid enough i can cut off as I tend to get focused on work, but now I am back in my country and back to work today and I so miss him. we had so little time together but the anticipation was for 6 months. He is still on my FB.We did not fight nothing like that happened.I have not felt this way about someone in a long time and I know am not wrong....I can't wait to see him again, to hear his voice, i want to work it out....buti dont know what he wants.I just wish he would tell me that he will not talk anymore. Do guys do that? Any advise.confused..
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has a girlfriend, kissing, period, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): Hi Guys,I am glad I found this sight. I felt much better after your comments. Honestly!! Well frankly I have been a victim of loosing my man to someone and yes I do realize that it is wrong. Thanks for the reminder.Well just an update, he emailed me yesterday and said yes he feels better with being friends as that is what i said to him. Dont get me worng he did not completely ignore me as he did respond he just stopped right before i left the country. We started off as friends and I guess that is something I dont want to loose, over something small. I guess I will be alright as I have been on my own for the past 5 year after my ex cheated on me. I'd rather waste my energy on my career in all honesty because I know that it is consistent.I think I am able to cope as I am back to bussiness as usual and I wanted to say thanks you all the three of you because you made me feel better and made me realize what I should do. This site rocks!!!.
A
female
reader, Jayney Y +, writes (7 July 2009):
 I'm going to be brutal here, and I may be wrong, but.......it sounds as if he thought that maybe just before you left might be a good time to get into your pants, as it would mean that he could get away with it and his girlfriend wouldn't find out. I would leave it as is, if he is interested he'll contact you again, and if he never does, you haven't lost anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): I think he is just very confused with himself and realized that what he is doing with you is wrong. As you said, he talked about how guilty he was to be liking you. It means he likes you but is not sure he wants to cheat on his current girlfriend or leave her for you.
I suggest that you don't rush him or pressure him to choose you instead. Just see what happens. In case he realizes he wants you instead. Make sure that he finishes with the other girl and not have both of you. This will hurt her so much and you know how this will feel. Ask yourself if its ok with you that you made someone leave his gf for you and put yourself in her shoes too.
Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 He has feelings for you - but it's obvious he feels guilty for acting on them.
It sounds like he does not want to take it further then it already has gotten. His way of saying he wants to remain faithful to his girlfriend - is by not talking to you.
It happens people fall in love with somebody else - while in a relationship with somebody else. But they make a choice to either leave there girlfriend or stay with them.
He obviously has something great with his girlfriend he does not want to risk loosing. It may be hard for you - but imagine how his girlfriend would feel if she ever found out about this.
My suggestion is - try to forget about it. I know it's easier said then done, but you have to. They are many single guys out there. I don't know if a friendship is possible between the two of you, well at least not right now.
Don't email him - don't call him. It sounds like he already made his choice, and it's not to be with you. As harsh at that sounds.
He feels the same way you do at this point. Yes he probably misses you and wishes he could contact you in someway, but he won't.
So brush this under the rug and call it a day. Tomorrow the sun will still shine, and the world won't stop. Remind yourself that everytime you feel heartache.
God bless.
xx
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