A
female
age
30-35,
*ADEYSPADEY93
writes:Okay. So i've been with my boyfriend for 11 months now, and have recently found out he was sleeping with my ex best friend for a good six months of our relationship, on and off. The whole reason me and the girl fell out was because she was sleeping or trying it on with my previous boyfriends. I stupidly forgave her and trusted her with my new man, what a massive mistake.When I found out, my boyfriend admitted it and had told me it had been called off around three months ago because he simply didn't want her anymore and he realised what he was doing was a mistake. Ever since i found out, a month ago, he's written me a letter every day about how sorry he is and how he's a changed man, and part of me believes him. I've also received thoughtful presents left 'anonymously' on my doorstep, like a hamper full of my favourite food and tickets to see my favourite music.But the worst was yet to come. My ex best friend is pregnant. She has told several people it's my boyfriends, but however has told other people she doesn't think it is because the 'dates don't add up'. She's apparently three months along now and is telling people she's keeping it, but telling other people she's not.I felt like me and my boyfriend were going to work it out until this came along. I'm not sure what to do. I know she is definitely pregnant, and my boyfriend doesn't want anything to do with her or her child that is possibly his.What should I do about it? Continue working things out and wait for her decision?
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Don't worry about the baby; it's not yours and it's not your problem. Whatever this girl chooses to do is her business. The main issue you should be concerned with is that this guy is a lout. Whether or not the kid is his, he cheated on you for most of your relationship and had UNPROTECTED sex with this other chick. He was so disrespectful of you and your relationship that he didn't even bother to wear a condom with this other woman. How is that a mistake? He did not slip up and cheat, he carried on a sexual relationship with this woman for several months.
I think you are still angry about what your ex-friend did before and want to "win" this time. You want to hang on to this guy to prove a point and prove that you are the better woman. Please understand that this guy is no prize and you stand to lose more than you'll gain if you continue a relationship with him. You are already the better woman; no need to prove it by staying with a jackass.
A
female
reader, JADEYSPADEY93 +, writes (13 July 2010):
JADEYSPADEY93 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'd just like to point out that we were best friends three years ago, this has all happened when we aren't friends.
Anyways I confronted her on what she was doing about the baby. She told me it was 'probably' his again, but the 'dates don't add up'. She also told me that the last time she slept with my boyfriend was in march, a few weeks before she became pregnant. My now ex boyfriend, doesn't want anything to do with the child because he's not ready to become a father, which he should have thought of before hand, and also he see's as sleeping with her as a huge mistake and therefore see's the baby as a mistake. I have told him it's too early to tell what he wants to do about the baby.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): I honestly think you should move on to the next one. Youre way better then both of them. Let them deal with theyre own problem.They will realize how much of a mistake they made and later you should MAYBE take them back. But give it some time so you know that you even want them back and they might just continue to do it to you. Hope this helps! Good luck! :)
** dont forget how much you are worth!
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (13 July 2010):
If he's been sleeping with her for six months and she's three months pregnant, the dates most certainly DO add up. He probably broke things off with her three months ago when she told him she was pregnant.
He's still lying to you--don't fall for it. This man has been cheating on your for more than half of your relationship; there's nothing to "work out" because your relationship is built on bullshit, lies and deception. Eat the food, go to the concert, but ditch the guy.
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A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Caring Guy said it all
I totally agree with everything he has said.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 July 2010):
DITCH HIM NOW.
1 - Within five months of you being together, he'd started to cheat with your best friend.
2 - Him cheating continued for at least 3 months.
3 - He is not a changed man. It takes years for a person to change, not just a few months.
4 - She will be able to get a DNA test on the child to prove whether it is his or not.
5 - If it is his child, he will have to pay for it. All those dreams of a house, a car, holidays, they will disappear.
6 - Perhaps the most important point of all - He is willing to ditch his child. That's one VERY cold and callous man you're dealing with. He is willing to ditch his baby. That means he will do the same to you.
This guy is EXTREMELY cold hearted and callous. A man who is willing to ditch his child is a man who will ditch you and your kids as well (should you have any). This just shows how cold, how uncaring, how disrespectful and how immature he is. He is the worse kind of man. The worst. If you stay with this man, you're setting yourself up for TOTAL failure, and complete heartache. This man is really, really cold, and an utterly worthless, deceitful and ruthless s**t.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): It may be hard for you to leave your boyfriend, but you may have too. I would cease all contact with that so called "best friend" of yours as well...she is not a friend...she's a homewrecker with no moral values and so are the men who sleep with her knowing that they are in relationships.
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