A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a man, I was in a long term relationship that ended and left me hurt. I tried to get back in the dating game but I found meeting available women very hard. Long story short, I was lonely and I answered an ad on CL one evening for a women who was an escort in 2006, and I have been seeing her for the last 4 years at least once or twice a month.She is a very beautiful Spanish girl, about a few years younger than me. She does not use drugs, she is a very neat and clean person, and she has a very sweet personality. From the first day I met her, she treats me like I am all that matters when we are together. We have become friends, and she has recently started to confide in me, she has told me her real name, tells me about her family, has taken me to her house etc. I feel very strongly that she has started to develop strong feelings for me, but I am not fully sure of that.Recently I asked her to spend an evening out with me, and I told her I would pay for her time so she does not think I am trying to take advantage of her. We went out for dinner, than cofee, and hung out with each other most of the evening. We held hands like boyfriend and girlfriend, and I felt completely alive and happy. When I took her home she invited me in, and we ended up making love. Afterwards I gave her $500 for her time as I promised, and she refused to take it saying she went out with me because she wanted to and had fun, and that was enough. I insisted and left it on her dresser telling her a promise was a promise.When I got home and took off my jacket, I noticed that the money had been stuffed in one of the pockets, all $500. At that moment I felt a kind of warmness for her that I have not felt in a while. I have seen her a few more times since than, and I feel a complete change in her since that evening. She shows a lot of excitment when I come to see her and holds me and kisses me totally different. Afterward she lays with me and asks me to tell her more about myself. She now calls me Mi Amor (my love) when she refers to me.I am not really sure what to do now. As I mentioned earlier, I think she has fallen for me, and for sure I have very stong feelings for her. I think about her when I am away from her, and I count the days waiting to see her. I dont know if it is even wise to pursue her or even continue to see her. Am I getting myself in a complete mess? Is there any advice anyone can give me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (16 October 2010):
Hi. Yes, if you ever get a chance to watch Dr Pil when you are not working, do it - it's really worth it, he's very good at what he does.
He truly is fantastic, a very gifted man and he sees life in such a wonderfully clear way. In Australia Dr Phil is on Monday to Friday for an hour ever day. It's probably the same in the USA as well.
I try to watch it whenever I'm not working.
He really is fantastic, in fact I feel his thoughts on the big picture of life are practically identifical to my own. We both think along the same lines. I wouldn't miss him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Dorothy for all your advice and encouragment. I feel that she is happy that I am with her and I even feel that she loves me, but I can sense very subtly that she does not have complete 100% trust in me. It is nothing that is very outward, but you can get a feel for these things when you have been with a person long enough. So soulmate may be a bit of a strong word. Perhaps in time. Soulmates completely trust each other with no doubts. But I dont really blame her for this, men probably lie to her and try to take advantage of her all the time. In the 4 years I was seeing her I never tried to take advantage of her but I definitely bent the truth on many occasions to try and impress her.
Anyway I will continue to follow your advice and see where it leads. You know, I didn't know you guys watch Dr. Phil out there. I have never watched his show, but the advice given sounds very true
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (12 October 2010):
Hi. Within a week she will probably be fine again, just as long as she looks after herself, with plenty of fluids, and bed rest if needed.
With regards to what you said in one of your earlier postings, although you said you normally wouldn't choose to actually go out with someone in her profession, just remember that all things in life happen for a reason.
It was clearly pre-ordaned that you were both meant to meet. It's possible that you are already soulmates now, and you do get on pretty well anyway. In the grand scheme of things, you are both very happy together, and that's all that matters.
As long as you always treat each other with kindness, love and respect and be supportive, and don't criticize or nag each other. Also, don't carry any resentment. If either of you has something on your mind that niggles you about the other or the relationship, have a discussion about it - when the time is right. Don't just ignore it. Don't let it become a grudge that slowly poisons the whole relationship.
Now I know, what your issue is (her profession), so in time to come - the wait and see approach - if you were to bring up the subject, perhaps you could mention just how it makes you feel sometimes. Rather than asking her if she will stop doing it. You see the difference there? Instead of her feeling like she's being put on the spot, you are only talking about your feelings. She will have a better understanding if you put it that way. Whereas before, she might have somehow felt she was being given an ultimatum (even though you didn't say it that way).
Remember in any conversation, it's not what you say - but how you say it, that really counts. Good communication can make all the difference. During difficult discussions, you will have a much better outcome if you stay positive and help the other person to feel good about themselves, so that they feel you are being supportive of them as a person, and are not trying to criticize them or tell them how to live their lives. We all need to feel we have complete freedom to be ourselves, without too much compromise.
Dr Phil (McGraw), once said - "If to be part of a relationship, you have to be half of who you are, well then that price is too high". It is so, so true.
It means neither one of a couple should be the one who is constantly compromising so the other person gets their way all the time. It should always be 50/50 all the way. Yes there will always be some compromise, but both giving and taking equally. Then all goes well.
I'm sure you will work out the best path to take, but just as long as you are both happy together and keep getting along well, concentrate more on that, rather than thinking to the future. Just live today, and make it the happiest it can be. Live every day that way.
Take care and best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Dorothy, I will do that. BTW she is back from her trip, she is doing well except for she caught some virus that causes some repiratory bronchitis like symtoms that is going around in our area right now. I have the same thing as her except she is at an earlier stage where she will be having a few sleepless nights due to a contant hacking cough that does not let up and really starts up when you lie down. She will be off her feet for a few days for sure
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (12 October 2010):
Hi again. To send questions to my private mailbox, you simply click on my name.
Then - send Dorothy Dix a private message. (Top of my Page).
Keep that in mind as well.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (12 October 2010):
Hi. That's a great approach, you are taking.
Over time it will probably just all fall into place. In the meantime just get to know each other more and see what happens.
Please keep me updated and I'll help in whatever way I can.
You can also send questions to my personal mailbox, if you want. That's up to you.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDorothy: Actually, you are right, it would not be fair to expose her by sending out her picture without her permission, and I totally understand your conern about possibly revealing information about yourself (and myself as well). It does not upset me in the least. I want to again tell you that your advice to me has been very valuable and has given me clarity. You are right, whatever happens I should enjoy my time with her, even if it is limited. I will try and keep you updated, but in case you ever want to inbox me my Cupid User ID is All American
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (11 October 2010):
Hi. I'm just thinking this is an anonymous site, so although that might be good, just for security, maybe it would be better not to send a photo, as I would be revealing my real name to you and I feel that's probably not the right thing to do. Please don't be upset by that.
But please keep on writing to me, whenever you think of something you want to ask. I love to help and thank you, I am happy that it has been helpful to you.
Yes, the wait and see approach is a very good way to go about it. That's what I'd be doing if I were in the same situation, for sure.
You can see that she feels the same way as you do, by how she said she would feel sad, if you said it was over. The feeling is mutual there's no doubt about that. So this is a good sign.
So maybe just take it very slowly from now on, and don't talk about the possibility of leaving her. Just take it one day at a time, and enjoy every day you have together. Don't think too far into the future, not even tomorrow. Think only of today and live life to the fullest. Have fun, laugh and be happy. Life is too short.
Look after yourself, and take care. Best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDorothy: I really find your advice helpful, and I am glad that you have really stuck with this, it is really helpful to me. As far as the type of relationship I am looking for, at the moment of the 3 you mentioned I guess the last one is most important to me...her leaving the profession. At this time I am really not thinking about marriage and kids, especially after my last relationship which was almost like marriage, and left me a little bitter. Yes, I do feel like things are on hold, and my gut way deep inside tells me to get out but my heart wont let me right now. I asked her a couple of weeks back how would she feel if I stopped seeing her, and she told me it would make her very sad and for me not to say that to her, which of course makes things more difficult for me.
We are getting together tomorrow, I am still keeping a wait and see on this. I have never asked her straight how exactly she feels about me, although I am sure she does love me (as I mentioned she calls me mi amor, or my love), but that could be an expression. I think it is only fair I ask her, that way it will clarify things more for me. I will keep you posted on what happens. BTW, if you are interested I can email a picture of her I took. I normally would not do this but you have been so helpful to me that I feel comfortable doing this
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (10 October 2010):
Hi. Ok then, well you are going to have to play the waiting game with her, I do get where you are coming from now.
Maybe she thinks you are judging her in some way. Even though that's not what you say you feel. Just the same, in her mind she might feel that way.
The thing is while you are going out with her and feeling unsure of what your future together holds, you are missing out on a relationship with young ladies you could have a much higher level of certainty with. I'm sure you have already thought of that though.
It really depends on what you want from this relationship. Have you thought of how you would like it to progress?
(1) Marriage.
(2) Kids.
(3) Her leaving the profession of escort.
You would already know this, but all good relationships need a high level of honesty and openness. It does seem that you have that - to a point. But it also seems a bit restricted, doesn't it? This is the part that really bothers you.
You are fairly happy in each other's company, but is it enough for you? Do you feel like it's all "On Hold" a bit, at the moment?
You need to think about these questions, and go from there. Most of all, you do need to be totally honest with yourself when you do.
The decision, no matter what anyone else says to you, needs to come from your heart. Follow your intuition and what it's telling you. Do what feels right in your soul.
Keep me posted anyway. I might be able to think of some more ideas.
Good luck. Best wishes. Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDorothy: I do not know her leagal status, but I know she has been in the US a long time. She is origionally from Costa Rica, costa Ricans are looked at completely different than other hispanics by the US goverment, they are more educated, light skinned and generally are part of the middle and upper middle class in the US. By the way she lives I doubt she is illegal here.
She has no problem talking to me about her personal life or her family. I have met and know her sister, she talks about her family, I have seen all their pictures, know where they live etc. All of her family live here in the US, including 2 brothers and a sister. It is her other life, her working side she does not want to talk about. I hope that makes things more clear
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (9 October 2010):
Hello again. You will have to proceed with care.
Probably what you did before about telling her to be careful, she might have seen as being controlling. Even though you said it because you care, perhaps she took it the wrong way. Sometimes it is hard to guess what a person will think. But in any case, apparently she did get upset as you said.
This may sound like a silly question, but do you know if she is an American citizen? Does she have a travel visa or a working visa? What I mean is, does she live in the USA permanently, or is she only on holidays?
Even though you say when you first met her in 2006, she was an escort then, if she is in the US on an expired visa, then stayed on without renewing it, well then we are really talking about an illegal immigrant. This would certainly explain why she might get upset about asking her any questions about herself. It's something she would feel uncomfortable about. Have you ever seen her passport?
I really don't how you could find this out for sure, without actually coming right out and asking her. Naturally, you want to know this. This sort of profession would probably not require a working visa, I don't know really.
Is her family over there in the USA or in Spain, or elsewhere?
It is a bit tricky to find this all out, but over time when she is talking, perhaps you could talk about your family, then this might encourage her to talk about her family. When you are both talking, you could somehow bring the subject back to family, then see where it goes from there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDorothy: I am not sure how to approach talking to her about this. I can tell her how I feel about her, but I think she already knows, it just shows. And I am pretty sure how she feels about me. The thing is I think she is very comfortable with the way our relationship is right now, and if I try evolve it to fast, I think that would probably upset her balance. She likes to keep her personal life and her other life seperate. A few months back (before we got into this relationship) I sort of tried to lecture her on being careful, that there were a lot of crazy men out there that might hurt her, how she should take precautions. She got visibily upset with me as I crossed her invisible line, and after that would not see me and kept ignoring my calls for a couple of weeks. When I relized she was ignorning my calls I completely stopped calling her and figured I would never see her again. A few weeks later she called me and gave me an excuse that she lost my number and just found it. I am not stupid, I know she was upset and I was being ignored.
So what would be your advice to me as a women after knowing these details? Should I give a little more time or proceed with talking with her?
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (9 October 2010):
Hi. That's great you have a very balanced outlook and a realistic view of everything.
It's definitely possible you could have a future together, that might well last forever.
If you haven't yet discussed the relationship, you do need to do that as soon as possible. That way, neither of you will make any assumptions. It's probably evolved over time into a relationship anyway, as a natural evolution. But you still must have some discussion about it all, to be sure that you both want the same things. It's important.
Your lady might also want to know, but might not know how to broach the subject for fear of seeming needy. All the more reason for you to bring it up instead, and if you haven't told her already, she needs to know exactly how you do feel. You are both probably just going along and enjoying each other's company, but still wondering where it's all going. Don't delay this any longer, especially as your feelings grow even more - as they will.
No decision can ever be made until you both know how the other feels, and what you feel about how it's all going. During this discussion, it will be the time to say what you see in the future for both of you as a couple. It's possible she feels the same way and is waiting for you to say something. Now that you both have more feelings for each other and it is a relationship (and not just about sex anymore), this is all the more reason to talk about where you both go from here.
It does sound pretty positive to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDorothy, thank you again for your observations. Just to answer a couple of your questions, over the 4 years of seeing her I was not really interested in any type of relationship with her except on a sexual level, and she pretty much knew that, it was obvious. Sometimes I would not see her for stretches of 3 or 4 months because she was not that important to me. The reason I kept seeing her was mainly that she was completely drug free, very reliable, honest, as well as beautiful. There were times when I left valuables behind and she would hold them for me, like a gold ring my ex gave me that was easily worth $600. I would have never known I left it there if she had not told me. Over the 4 years we developed a trust for each other and eventually a friendship.
I think everything changed in her mind for me when I asked her to accompony me that evening and I took her out for the night. I think it was the first time in awhile that a man treated her like a real lady, and of course I saw a side to her I have not seen before as she loosened up. My take on it is that she saw it at first as a business deal but it became an actual date and she saw me as a man and not one of her clients who dont give a crap about her.
Also our relationship is no longer just based on sex. In fact I am happy just to be with her and hold her, and I let her initiate that part. That being said, we have more sex now than we had when I was seeing her as a client.
To the last poster, yes, I really dont have problems meeting women, I am a good looking guy (or I have been told). As I mentioned in my orgional post I had not been really looking to get into another relationship after my last one. I know i really should, but I have to resolve this before I can move on, for good or for worse
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (8 October 2010):
Hello again. Yes it is a challenging situation to deal with.
I guess all that you can do, is enjoy all your times together and make it as much fun as possible.
As long as you try to not base your relationship just on sex (even though that's how it started), and try to put some of your focus on how well you really get along with each other generally.
Because there is so much more to a relationship than just having good sex. Obviously sex has it's limitations within any relationship, because time-wize it's very fleeting. Sex isn't going to be happening 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. As much fun as making love is, in the big picture of a relationship, it is only a small part of it.
So with that in mind, what's really important to help you make up your mind about how you really feel, it's important for you to become conscious of how well you both click (how you get along). If you have many things in common - interests, music, sense of humour, life values etc., or if you have nothing in common but great sex! Sometimes what people think of as a great relationship, is nothing much more beyond fantastic times in the bedroom. The only way for you to know this is to ask yourself - "If we were not making love, how would I feel about her then?" Also, is it only the sex that's keeping you with her, and her good looks? Has she good a good personality?
What I'm really saying is, it's a complete package:-
(1) Her good looks.
(2) How good the sex is.
(3) How much common ground you both share.
(4) Do you both have similar life values.
(5) The career she has (which you are a little uneasy with).
All these things need to be seriously considered, before you can hope to make a decision down the track.
Also another thing to consider is, although you like her a lot (or maybe even love her), are you staying with her because you haven't met someone else? Do you somehow believe that you couldn't meet someone else who liked you for just being you?
I'm not trying to discourage you from seeing her, I am only mentioning this because you have some residual doubts - because of what her profession is. Those doubts will always be there no matter how long you went out for.
In some way it might be feeling a bit temporary to you, because of what she does. This is more reason for doubts. A feeling of no personal security as a couple.
Perhaps at the moment, don't look too far forward into the future, because it is uncertain anyway. Instead enjoy this time together and just wait and see how it develops over time.
You will (as you say), have to eventually have the conversation with her about it. Because it already does present issues to you now. Over time those issues will become more intense, to the point where you might get angry about it. In any case, that choice is only up to you as to when that time will be. You will know when it feels right.
Until that time comes, your life is really on hold. In limbo is not a healthy place to be, as there is just too much uncertainty with not knowing where you really stand. And that's where you stand now, you can see she likes you, but maybe you don't know how great her feelings for you are. You might not have discussed this as yet.
Looking at this, you say you met her in 2006, so that's been 4 years. That's quite a while isn't it? Most normal relationships would be clarified probably within the first 6 months or so. Especially if they are both really well matched. That's something else for you to think about.
For you to make any kind of decision about it, everything needs to be taken into consideration fully.
More food for thought for you.
I hope this helps you. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010): If this beautiful woman likes you the way you describe, it means that you should have no problem meeting women who are not in the business. Make a stab at meeting other women, just as a basis of breaking the spell so you can think clearly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello again Dorothy, and thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I am hoping that she will see this occupation as a deck of cards and realize that one card being pulled will topple everything. I have not had the courage to bring up this topic yet, I think I will wait until I feel she has full trust in me before I do. Also, English is not her native language (Spanish is), she is about 70% to 75% fluent in English and there are times when she does not get what I am trying to say. I know some Spanish and I try to fill in the gaps for these times, but my Spanish is not that great and she sometimes ends up laughing at my grammatical errors!
I should have never let a purely sexual relationship turn into something else. In a way I almost wish she would not have feelings for me or I could do something to upset her, it would hurt but it would be easier to move on. I do know for sure that I do have strong feelings for her because she has been out of town for a week (visiting her family)and I feel so lonely without her and am counting the days until she will be back (Monday). But I know that there will come a point where I will have to force her to make a decision between me and what she does. I hope I have the strength when that day comes
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (7 October 2010):
Hello again. That's a great sign that she responds to you and is tuned in fully when you make love to each other.
I realize it would not sit very comfortably with you, her having sex with other men - even if it is completely impersonal.
The wait and see approach is a wise one.
However, don't hold back from showing how you feel about her or getting upset with her about her occupation either.
It upsets you now more than before, because it has been more time and you have developed more feelings for her naturally.
Over time, you will have to think about it all and ask yourself if you could handle it over a long period of time. Like if you decided to marry each other, how would you feel about it then.
I know it's only a job, but if it was anything else but a sex worker, it wouldn't be a problem.
Perhaps over time, you could talk about it (respectfully), and ask her what she sees for herself in the future. Would she like to do this until she retires? Does she have any other dreams she would like to follow. That sort of thing.
Just talk generally, without becoming precise as to whether she ever plans quitting the sex industry. Even though that's what you really would like to know, you can't make her feel that she has to quit or else your relationship with her ends. Then she would feel under pressure to make a decision she is not quite ready to make just yet.
She will inevitably come to the place in her life, where she might just quit anyway. Even though it pays a lot of money, she might feel that she has no skills to work in some other type of occupation - such as a secretary, or in an office of some sort anyway.
Money isn't everything. It certainly can't buy happiness, that's for sure.
There will come a time, and as you become closer, where she might naturally see a conflict of interests, and might also see her occupation as a direct threat to your relationship - without you ever mentioning it. Intuitively.
Only time will tell. You can't force her to quit, that decision has to be made by her. Have faith.
Hope this is helpful to you. Take care and best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello again Dorothy. I feel horrible knowing that she is with other men. Before I did not, but now I do. I dont feel insecure, but none the less I feel horrible. I know she is completely tuned into me when we make love because of her reactions to me when I touch her, kiss her, which are so very different from when I first started seeing her. For example she only liked light kissing and would keep her mouth shut tight if I kissed her on the lips. Now she loves kissing and being kissed. Also before she never rushed me, but if I took a little longer than I should she would work to hurry me along faster...now she tries to get me to prolong my orgasm.
I feel that I am probably at fault in all this. I should have never asked her out that night. I was feeling lonely and all I wanted was some company, I was not looking for a relationship or sex that evening. I felt very comfortable with her and that is why I asked her. I dont know how, but I think that night changed everything between us.
I dont like what she does at all, but I do like her. I have not told her that, I think if I did right now it would ruin our relationship, so I am going to take a wait and see approach
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (6 October 2010):
Hello again. Even though for her it's just a job, do you ever have any issues with the fact she is having sex with other men?
A lot of men would feel insecure with that and perhaps be comparing themselves with the clients.
There is also the concern that she might not be completely mentally tuned in when making love with you, as when she is with her "clients", she would switch off - because it's only a job. She's also been doing it for 4 years or more now.
I'm wondering how she re-engages when she's with you. I guess it's just practice.
With her customers, it's just sex, but with you it's making love. There is a big difference.
If you do really like her, you just need to be honest with yourself as to whether it does really bother you or not. In the short term, maybe not, but if you were to be together for a long period of time, you might surely feel like you are competing with her clients. No matter how hard you try not to, there will be times when it runs through your mind - especially when you and her are making love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello again and thanks for your insights. Yes, she is a beauty, but her real beauty to me is her honesty, and the way she treats me. I have been with a few women in her profession, and usually when the time you paid for is up they hurry you out for the next guy they are going to see. Why does she do this profession? She makes a lot of money is the best answer. I have not asked her how she got into it, maybe at another time I will.
I dont think she does this with any other guy. She does not see anyone past 8PM and does not work weekends. When I first started seeing her she would not see me during these times...but now these are the times I have been seeing her the last few months. I can call her late at night or on the weekends and she will see me. She no longer askes or takes money from me...but I leave her money in her dresser anyway because as I mentioned earlier I dont want her to think I am trying to take advantage of her.
She is not married (divorced), and has 2 kids whom live with her ex husband. She is definetly not a serial killer, after all, 4 years later and I am still here! I many times wish I never met her...I never thought in my life I would ever have a relationship with a professional. It goes against all the values instilled in me by my family.
Lastly, I have never seen Pretty Women! I guess I should check it out sometimes ;-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is an interesting tale lol. Imma go watch pretty woman.
If I was in your position, Id stop and question some things. If she has feelings for me and is genuine why does she still have her job as an escort and be with tons of other dudes?
Does she return money for any other guys?
How often do guys go out and just spend time with her vs sex? (This will tell you if she really does like being treated like a woman)
If I were you, Id wanna be treated special and if shes treating other guys the same way even sexually, Id develop extremely hateful jealousy (one time I even sent a guy death threats) and then get the hell out.
Your emotions are runnin high right now and i dont blame you lol (spanish women are crazy awesome)...but stop to question some things so that you can proceed logically to any next possible step. Dorothy gave some good tips too. Asking questions will help you see a big picture and enable you to make a good decision. Good luck.
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female
reader, heart-shaped-balloon +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Get to know her better. You don't know much about her at all. She might be married or have 7 kids or be a serial killer for all you know.
But overall I say lights are all green.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDorothy Dix: Thank you for reading my post. To answer your questions, yes unfortunatly she is currently an escort and does this for a living. As for your next question, we actually see each other now about 3 times a month. The reason I was seeing her once or twice a month in the beggining was because I was seeing her origionally only for sex and some basic companionship. The reason now I dont see her once a week is first of all i dont want to push myself on her, and secondly I feel a little weary getting to close right now.
No, she is not married, she is divorced. Her ex husband is living about 300 miles away
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (5 October 2010):
Hi there. You said that in 2006 she was an escort. Is she still doing that now?
I think what is happening here is, because she is (or was) an escort, the lines between working and just going out with someone on a social basis are being blurred.
It almost seems like she is finding it hard to tell the difference.
Remember how you met her in the first place. You actually went to an escort website. So you went into her territory. You didn't just meet in a line waiting at the bank.
Why is it that you only see each other once or twice a month? Have you tried to make it more often? This seems a bit strange for two people who supposedly like each other.
For any relationship to survive, you have to see each regularly - at least once a week.
The next time you talk to or see each other, you really need to discuss this.
There is one more thing to consider. Do you know if she is married?
You are going to have to ask her this, if you have any hope of going further with it.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): That is really SWEET ! go for ur feeling, don t care about what ppl say to you.
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reader, Kenj  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 Its obvious she likes you a lot if she has not charged, it is possible she is developing feelings for you.
If your happy then give it time and see where it goes, dont jump in head first wait a little and see where this takes you both.
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