A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 7 months and he lied to me about something he did two years ago with a girl. he just told me a couple of days ago. i dont know if i should break up with him or not. he really hurt me. hes said hes sorry a million times, but i dont know whether or not if i can trust him again. he said he didnt tell me because of what i would think. but then, today at school he was joking around with his best friend about it. he said it was the dumbest thing hes ever done (considering he was twelve and he only saw the girl once, and only went out with her for a week!) but i dont know if i can believe him. i mean i have to deal with the fact that ive kissed him, after the thing he did with this girl! ive talked to him about it, but i dont know if i will ever be able to trust him again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): I completely understand how you're feeling. Oral sex at 12 is a little too much too soon. You have to respect him for being honest about it, he could have hid it from you. Just remember it was in the past, before you, and you have to get over it.
Good luck dear.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): We are more raw in our youth then when we're older. It should not surprise you that people younger and around your age would do something that may seem out of their current character. Even with age aside, a person's maturity development will affect the way they handle scenarios.
Though ultimately, trust is built through time and experience, you should consider that whatever he did in his past should not affect him today, unless the thing of his past was questionable. From the looks of it, it seems that he either had a sexual relationship with a girl in his past or he kissed her. The act of doing the deed(s) and/or lying about this may upset you, but understand the reasons why he lied and maybe you can learn to forgive him. If not, then you will be cutting too much of what life has to offer, down to a narrow stream of 'choices'.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis girl gave him a blow job, and he gave one to her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Well, see the way you're reacting, that's the reason why he took so long to tell you. Don't get all emotional and dramatic, it happened in his past, when he wasn't with you.
Can you tell us what he did ... that might shed a little more persepective.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 What exactly did he do with this girl?
If he like raped her then you have reason to leave him.. If it's not that bad then let go of what he did to this girl.. it was 2 years ago. Explain to him how he hurt you by lying to you.
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