A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know my boyfriend loves me, he does tell me this and we would could potentially have a good life together in the future. We complement each other quite well. He's helped me with a lot of things in my life and helped me try to accept who I am. The thing is I always feel as though i'm forcing him into something he doesn't want to be in, he hasn't been good with relationships in the past. He's told me that i'm 'the one' but he also says that he finds himself wanting to be with other girls. I feel as though i've changed myself too much for him and i've gone from being a really strong person to someone who crumbles easily. The sad part is this is all from pressure I put on myself. I know I should probably walk away but I can't bear to forget the last 18 months of my life. He means so much to me and even if he can be selfish he tells me I make him want to be a better person. What the hell do I do? I don't know if I can walk away. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): Thanks, I guess this has just shown me what I already know sadly it doesn't make my decision any clearer. I know i'm only young and it's not the end of the world it just hurts and i'm not used to depending on anyone so that makes me frustrated with myself.
I don't know if I will find someone else as suited to me of course there can be others but will it be the same? I don't know if I want it to be the same then it just makes this look meaningless if the same thing can happen with anyone.
A
male
reader, S-Breeze13  +, writes (16 July 2009):
He may not know what he wants. He wants finish expieriencing other girls. The only problem with that is you may not be around once he realizes that he wants you. Trust me, no man wants to be in a relationship that he may be forced in. Another thing, don't be in a relationship where you have become weak.
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A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (16 July 2009):
 Remember that strong girl you use to be?Would it not be nice to have her back? If your bending over backwards for this guy its not worth it. Be yourself. Be comfortable with who you are first. Worry about the relationship second.if he has changed you in such a way he is probably not healthy for you.Take the burden off yourself dear. Be who you want to be. If a guy is worth having he will want you for who you are. Its degrading to become someone your not.So my advice is talk to him.Explain how you feel.And it would probably be best to take a break till you sort things out.Once you have you life in order again you can try to incorporate someone else into it.Someone that will let you be you.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 if your not happy u need to tell him.
its not fair if one person makes all the changes,
a relationship is about giving & taking & sharing,
he cant have the good parts of the cake and leave the bad parts to you.
if u want this to work speak to him, if he truly loves u he will make an effort.
u need to put ur own happiness before his sometimes otherwise this will wear u down.
good luck
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A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (16 July 2009):
 Nothing says you have to forget the last 18 months, but honey, don't dwell on it. Take it as a learning experience. 18 months is no time at all. It's best to get out of an uncomfortable situation when you only have a short time in it, rather than 5 years and possibly a child or two later.
You're young, you have a lot of life ahead of you. While it's good to be hard on yourself, it becomes bad when it makes you a weak person. If you find yourself crumbling now, where will you be in 10 years?
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