A
female
age
26-29,
*rettyGirlRock
writes:I like this guy hes 17 and im 15 he kissed me, and felt me up the other day and wanted to go further, this does not suprise me because we have talked about going further. But i didnt, i just didnt feel as if we were ready to take that step. Later we talked about it, and he was glad we didnt go further because we've only known each other for about a month. Its just ever since then things have seemed kind of off. I talked to him and he said everything was fine. And we seem to be talking more. :) But the thing is i dont know if hes only using me for my body. And what i will do with him, because he is a virgen and im not, he knows that. Im afraid he wont be willing to make a commetment to make me his gf. Right know were basically friends with bennifits. So should i leave or should i stay, or is there a third opption? What should i do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (7 January 2011):
 He may act like he respects you and acts like he respects your wishes, but all men lose at least some respect for a woman that lets them go further too easily, because it makes them wonder how many other guys she's done the same thing with. It also sends the message that she feels sex is all she has or wants to offer, nothing else. It doesn't mean he won't stop when you tell him to stop, but as the saying goes, why buy the cow when the milk is free? If all you were interested in was some fun with no strings my opinion would be completely different, but you're looking for more from him. The short answer is yes, he's using you. He pushed his luck and got to feel you up without even having to ask you out, and I'm guessing at some point you plan to have sex with him. If all of this happens while you're just friends, what reason does he have to put in the effort of dating you when you're already giving him all the benefits of a relationship? I hope you see my point. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): hun if you are looking to have a bit of fun then thats a different angle to see it, but hes no good for any relationship, and full on sex is not recommended.
...............................
A
female
reader, PrettyGirlRock +, writes (6 January 2011):
PrettyGirlRock is verified as being by the original poster of the question* FYI FWB means friends with bennifits, and letting him feel me up and play with my boobs is a bennifit to him.
* And you should know he fingered me thru my cloths, and put my hand on his dick
...............................
A
female
reader, PrettyGirlRock +, writes (6 January 2011):
PrettyGirlRock is verified as being by the original poster of the question*I didnt tell him I wasnt a virgen, my jealous x bf did.
*My x is stupid, he took my virgenity, and cheated on me, then broke up with me while crying over the phone, because he knew i was going to break up with him.
*This guy does respect me because when i told him i didnt want to go further he stopped and asked me where i wanted him to put his hands, and compleatly respected what i said
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): Erm. There are more ways to live life than to settle and marry, people. Just because you do it does not mean you should rub it in the faces of all as the only option.
OP - you don't have to wait for marriage but what you should do is make sure this is a guy that's in it for you and not your body. If he'd rather just tap some ass, then let him do that. If he wants to be in a relationship with you and treats you with respect, you take it there. But you take it slow.
You do not have to have sex with him at all, but if you should choose to, make sure it is on your terms and when you feel ready.
...............................
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (6 January 2011):
FWB means friends that have sex, which he hasn't had yet, so I think your definition of it is slightly off. What do you think makes him your friend with benefits?
As how to get him to be your boyfriend etc., the easiest way is to make yourself a challenge. You've only known him a month, aren't even dating him and have already let him feel you up. Don't let it go any further unless you're dating and have known each other longer than a couple of months, otherwise he'll have no respect for you and will end up using you for your body if given the chance.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): Umm hello. You should get to know him as a friend first, then a relationship, then marriage, then sex
...............................
A
female
reader, lija30 +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Wow ....don't do anything with him..... you will have lots of guys your whole life trying to get to your goodies......dont let this jerk ..be the first ....... wait .....you will see what i mean later in life....or you will end up pregnant ...and hating every part of your life....no boy is worth it......no boy ......if he wants sex.....ditch him....and work on your school and going to college......this is a waste of time for you .....and whats going to happen is that you are going to get a disease or pregnant and you will kick yourself later for not listening to me..but im sure he said he love you and all that good stuff...... so if you have sex with him you are creating your own death at a early age.*good luck hun*
...............................
A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Just take the "don't" out of your title and you have your answer. Your instincts and intuitions led you to ask a question you already know the answer for. It quite often happens like that. Boyfriend figures because you aren't a virgin (how on earth did he come to know that?) you can teach him the birds and the bees - and then he's going to dump you for a girl who won't give him the time of day. Use your head, kid and no more fooling around! Now that you had your own sexual curiosity satisfied, you can wait till you find somebody you want to make a life with.
...............................
|
