A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My 16-year-old son is gay, he came out to me about a month ago. He's about to finish school in a month anyway and is doing well in his studies.I'm not shocked - it's an alternative lifestyle choice and if it suits him I'm happy with it. My husband is OK with it.It's his choice of partner I'm not so happy about. He's dating a 35-year-old married man with 2 young children. My son told me this himself and said that the man wants to "dump his boring wife and kids and run off with him!"He said the relationship isn't a sexual one, they're taking it slowly and that it's great.I feel disgusted, how could he do such a thing? Isn't he as bad as these teenage girls who date married men? Also, how will it affect this man's kids and his wife?I should talk to him about this, but am not confident in how to discuss this issue for fear of "jumping down his throat".My husband doesn't feel as if he can discuss this, saying "it's not really his call".What do I do now?Sue
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): this is one of those situations where if you show your dislike of the 'relationship' your son might hold tighter to this man.
I am interested to know what your son looks like. Does he look 16 or older does he look like a little boy? I ask because maybe this bloke is just a peadophile and not interested in your son as a person in the slightest.
I agree with the answer earlieer invite this guy round. Remeber whether your son is gay is not the issue. If he was with a woman this age the same issues are still there. How would your husband respond if it was his 16 year old daughter we were discussing on this page and not his son?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): Firstly, being gay is NOT "an alternative lifestyle choice" -- it is his sexual orientation, not something that he chose.
All you can do is express your concern. You don't want to be too harsh and create too much distance between yourself and your son. Explain your concern and worry for his welfare.
Another idea would be to be all supportive and say you'd like to meet the man!! If the man refuses to meet you your son might then start to think about him differently, maybe!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): Explain to your son that there is no need to rush into anything and that he has his whole life ahead of him. He should at least focus on his studies and life before jumping into any relationship, nothing good will come out of it if he rushes into it.
This man is already going to dump his wife for someone else, so explain this to your son calmly that he may not be a trusting as he thought. Its hard to talk to teenagers but express always calmly that you do accept him and love him but he should realize that he is a teenager and thus is vulnerable to things he can not see clearly as an adult would.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (29 May 2009):
 This is just a built up fantasy this guy clearly just wants to have his cake and eat it too!
it's not fair on your son because he's having this fairy tale world built up for him and it's not even going to happen for him because it's all a lie!
this man will keep telling him over and over he'll leave his wife but when it comes to it he won't
i guess you'll just have to let him see this agony through for himself because once it all goes to pot he'll realise that it was a lie and was never going to happen.
all you can do it support him until he realises his mistake or until it crashes down and he needs you there to comfort him.
hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (29 May 2009):
 it wont work this married man will promise your son the world and get what he needs and your son will only see heart ache. perhaps this is his lesson in life to learn. all you can do is tell him how you feel but tell him its his choice and youll stand by him. and dont say this but youll be their when it all falls apart and help him get back on his feet. i wish you luck with this aphex xx
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