A
male
age
30-35,
*3puremage1
writes:Hi everyone, I really need some advises from you guys to help me to improve my relationship with my parents.I don't understand why my dad always over worries about me and he always try to suck extra economic and political knowledge into my brain. I am already excellent in economics and politics compared with people at my age because I have achieved a 50% off scholarship from a prestigious independent school based on my economic and politics knowledge. However, he never stops and I am sick of the way he forces me. I am tired. I am exhausted. I feel misery. I understand his action is for my good but he over worries and do it. In the past two years, the relationship between me and him had worsen because I am rude to him. I have ask him to stop his worries but he just ignore it and wish God will bless me since he is catholic. God will not save me but he does. The problem is he always believe he is right since he is the one who makes most money and the one in charge. I am rude to him is because I cannot find other methods to stop him. I am excellent but in his eyes I am always just a kid. Everyday I read the short view, new analysis and the lex column on Financial Times and Hong kong economic journal, which I believe is ridiculous for a 16 years old. I hate it. All I want is be a happy teenager and enjoy my last two years of teenage life. I want a girlfriend. My business teacher who is a former partner of Accenture had told me that I am absolute fantastic because I am such a corporate person. On the other hand, he had also warned me that I am wasting my teenage life and I should get a girlfriend to balance my life. I really need your advises to help me to solve the problem since I have ran out of solutions. Thanks for your help.
View related questions:
get a girlfriend, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (26 July 2011):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for everyone advises and I will talk to my dad man to man. Hopefully we will form an agreement :)
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 "I don't understand why my dad always over worries about me"... you really don't know why your dad is worried about you? After your choices about school?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-stupid-for-passing-up-this-chance.html
I think there are some cultural differences, if he wasn't raised in the UK and you were, then there is the age difference, teens and adults often don't communicate well, then there is the classic father/son tension in which the father expects more from the son than the son feels is reasonable. It happens in many many households, not just yours.
I agree with Eyes that mothers can be very useful. I would apply your corporate mind to this and think how to 'manage up;' think about how a subordinate would convince a supervisor that he is doing a fabulous job and needs no additional tasks or help.
Or you could simply say, "Dad, this is a lot of pressure on me and I'd like to talk about it with you, man-to-man, father-to-son. I appreciate all you've done for me. I just want to have a chance to experience and enjoy my teen years before I enter the world of work. Can you help me with that?"
You may indeed be excellent, but if you are being rude to him, then you are indeed still a kid. An mature person would find a way to speak to him, learn what will capture his attention.
Remember, your father was your age once, long ago, and he probably still remembers what it was like. It's possible his father, your grandfather, was even tougher on him than he is on you. Why don't you start there? Ask him how he got along with his father? Ask him for ideas on how to get along better with him. Don't be rude, be creative.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 July 2011):
 Can your mom help explain this to your dad? I totally agree that you need some down time, see if you can talk to your mom about this, we moms are great allies.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): My dad is similar, he is always trying to push more knowledge into my brain. I am a completely different type of a person than he is (and not as smart), my goal in life is fun and pleasure and his is knowledge. I have a master's degree in economics but I got that so I could make good money and have a good life, not because I have a desire to know all those things.
...............................
A
male
reader, yazanco  +, writes (25 July 2011):
First of all you don't be rude to your father no matter what he does, you may show anger but not rudeness, he cares about you, although he exaggerates it, but he loves you and cares about you, don't retaliate love with rudeness.the best way to counteract him is with your calm attitude, be calm, calmness can stop an erupting volcano, try try and try, he is your dad, and you don't want another guys dealing with him the same way you do, do you? You have only one father man, and time will come when you will wish him to be by your side with all of his flaws.
...............................
|
