A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just received the Christmas gift box my bf who I'm in an open relationship with sent from the US, I'm in the UK and he moved from the UK to Asia for a job. I'm from a culture in which we don't celebrate Christmas so this is the first Christmas gift I've ever received. I want to know if these gifts are considered "meaningful" in the western culture.So in the box he had a cotton sweater, two candles, some candies, since there is an animal that's very special for us, he also sent me an ornament of that particular animal and a tea towel. He also put a local newspaper with that animal on the front page.I have no idea of Christmas gift! I handmade some clay ornaments and pens for him which sounds kind of "cheap" compared with his...But he's having a good job and I'm still a student so I guess it's ok? I also bought him a pair of running shorts that he always wanted to have.I don't know how this works...do couples tend to buy more expensive gifts to their partner through the years? Do they discuss what "price range" their gifts would be in before Christmas? I actually feel a bit weird because on the box he had "Detailed description of contents" as required so basically I can see the price of each item, and it's 50USD in total, then he spent 55USD on postage...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): No, it's not about price at all but about what he/you both share an interest in
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): It's about what he/you both share an interest in or something that you know he wants or has some special meaning...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): If the cost is important, you are with the wrong guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): It is not about the money, it is about the thought you put in to please him. I feel sure he will understand you have less money than him and appreciate your gifts, particularly as he knows you don't celebrate Christmas.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): It is all about the thought, and the love. It has nothing to do with income, and you can't compare it to anything.
I've been married a long time. My wife got me a book for Christmas, it cost 20 bucks. I got her a pair of slippers that cost 50 bucks. Both were gifts that we wanted, and neither of us wanted anything else. I also got her 6 Chocolate Covered Cherry Cordials from Debrand Chocolates, which just happen to be the best ones in the world and run 9 bucks for a box of 6.
We spent around 4 times that much on each of our children, we have a combined income that exceeds what most people will ever dream of earning. When we go out for Christmas dinner, we will leave a tip around 2 times as much as we spent on each other for Christmas combined, regardless of the cost of the dinner.
"handmade some clay ornaments and pens for him which sounds"
Which sounds absolutely wonderful, as does his gift to you. You two should get married if your love is anything like the love that those gifts show.
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A
female
reader, bernergirl  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 Yes and No. I would like to say its not about price, but sometimes it can be about price. For example, I purchased the $400.00 IPOD for my boyfriend. And he got me the shuffle ($50) the problem was I took on an extra job to get enough money to pay for it and he had the really great job and made oodles of money over me. So if he has a better job then I think he should put more effort. To me it wasn't so much the cost but it just felt as if he didn't put as much effort into his gift or getting me a gift.
If that was the first time then no problem but it was like that throughout our relationship. It just felt as if the whole relationship became out of balance. If my boyfriend would have put more effort it would have made it a lot easier. Hope this helps. I think you are fine. Just try and do the best you can, and if you can't do anything then a card and a handwritten note goes further than any dollar gift.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 The price is not relevant when it comes to Christmas gift. Some will make an agreement on prices before hands BUT tha is only when gifts are made mandatory. For example if everyone in a school class are to get each other a gift it is common to set a price range on it. However it will always be optional whether you wish to give a gift or not. It is not required, and you are not to feel guilty if you do not have anything to give back. If you want to give a gift the best is to give something that you put some thought into, for example personal items. The cost is not relevant. When it comes to personal gifts you do not agree on any price range beforehand. If you can afford it you give a more expencive gift. If you can not afford it (or the item just isn't expencive by default) then that is perfectly acceptable as well.
For Christmas you are not to expect gifts. That is the basic thing. If you want to give gifts you are not to expect to get any in return. You give for the joy of giving, not because you want something in return.
I hope that helps explain it :)
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (31 December 2010):
 No, it's not about price at all but about what he/you both share an interest in or something that you know he wants or has some special meaning....something that he would enjoy.
If the cost is important you are with the wrong guy. :)
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