A
male
age
30-35,
*ovestruck44
writes:there is no spark in my relationship with my girlfriend (a year and some months) who i love or loved (i cant tell which it is). should i talk about not feeling the spark with her or just wait a little longer to see if they come back. its already been close to two weeks and i dont know what to do.if the spark is gone and you feel bored in your relationship, why stay in it when you can be doing other things that you want to be doing and enjoy? i see people on here saying that losing spark is just a stage of love but i don't see why you stay with them if there is no spark?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 July 2010):
 Make it spark, make it goddamn blow fireworks! You will not have "sparks" every day in a relationship, there a ruts & slumps. There are good time and bad. Ups and downs. Relationships like vintage cars, they take TIME, WORK, LOVE and EFFORT to run.
Yes, you could leave whenever the spark is gone, live like a relationship nomad. It won't make you happy in the long run.
Figure out what makes YOU tick, what makes HER tick. Put in some work, make an effort.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): if u feel u love her then u must try to make it work. i have been through this many times with my partner and we have got through these 'rough patches' all the time. we usually try to go on a break for afew days or week which gives us time to miss eachother. when we get back together we appreciate eachother more. if all else fails try spending more quality time together e.g cinema, meals or trying new things in the bedroom. if u love her u should make it work and as uv been together for so long it seems a waste to throw that away :) x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): It depends how much you enjoy her company without the spark. If the answer is not at all then it is possible that it was just sexual attraction and nothing deeper. Be careful if you plan to tell her. I hope you will let her down gently if you decide to finish it.
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A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Judging by your last question, and you saying "why stay in it when you can be doing other things that you want to be doing and enjoy?" tells me that your girlfriend is very demanding.Let me ask you this. why are you with her if you dont enjoy being with her?While its true in nearly all relationships there are points where you will lose the spark and feel distant from one another, and that doesnt mean you should automatically look for someone new, from what i know about you and about her, i think you would be much better off finding someone new.If theres anything else you want to ask me, im here to help.Nick.
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