A
female
age
41-50,
*eebooger
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. The relationship is amazing and the sex is just as great. I know its normal for the amount of sex a couple has to decrease over time. I still want it more often and have always wanted it more than him. My problem is though I know he loves me, still into me and attracted to me I just don't feel like I turn him on the way I use to. I want to add spark to our sex life so that it doesnt get dull. I'm not sure how to word this but I'll do the best that I can.He doesn't have any problem getting hard or anything but it seems like the only way I can get him hard is to play with him or give him oral. I want some tips on ways to turn him on with out actually having to touch it. I am very easily turned on and he can be in the mood without being hard. But I get extremly turned on if he is hard before i go to give oral or touch him. If he plays with me before hand he will get rock hard but the issue is hes not int he mood as often as me and says A few months back we had some issues. My insecurties were the main root of the problems. We had a period of i guess two months or so where we were barely having sex and he was masterbating to porn more than we were having sex and ocne he actually blew off sex with me and as soon as i left the house he beat it to porn and that destroyed all the sexual self confidence i had built up. And there were times where he would go in the bathroom and beat off when I would be sitting in the livingroom and it just made me feel so horrible, unwanted, uneeded, non attractive and all sorts of horrible. We finally had a discussing and he explained things and I explained how it made me feel and basically the issue arrived because i was driving him crazy with my insecurties and nagging because i wanted more sex. Since then things have been better. He stil masterbates to porn form time to time and tries to hide it which makes me uncomftorable but i totally understand his reasons for that. So now that our sex life is getting back to normal and hes beating it way less I cant completly shake my insecurties. I have come a long way and I want things back to normal. I miss the days when we could both watch porn together and get turned on, last time we tried it completly ruined my mood and I felt like he was more into the porn than me even though he hardly even looked at the computer screen. I feel like if I can figure out ways to get him rock hard with out going down on him that will help me get over my insecurties. I just feel like getting a blow job will make any guy hard even if they are completly non attracted to the woman sucking on them. So i guess what i'm asking is other than a hand job, blow job and masterbating in front of him what sort of things can I do that may get him hard. Or any other advice on how to get over my fear of him masterbading lol. I know its stupid and I havent always felt that way it use to turn me on to think of him masterbating but after those issues it scares me. I'm horrible at expressing my feelings and my words always seem to come out wrong, so usually when we try to discuss the topic it turns into a fight and that doesnt help me work out my issues. I'm sure any girl knows how good it feels to make your guy rock hard with out touching their penis. I have been able to do it in the past with guys but hes not like any other. so any advice on gaining sexual self confidence, keeping the masterbation issues in the past is welcome. Added info: We have been living together basically since day one of our relationship, I have two kids from a pervious marriage and we have a baby on the way togehter, I'm almost 4 months along. We are both happy and completly inlove. We want to get married when we feel ready, we have had horrible past relationships so we are in no hurry for that. I have no worries that he is or ever has cheated. Our sex is insainly mind blowing amazing he loves to please me and feels let down if i dont get off during sex.Hope this all makes since and i'm sorry for rambling. Thanks for reading.
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blow-job, confidence, hand-job, in the mood, period, porn, sex life, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dominic pusel  +, writes (31 July 2011):
 i think the following steps will do the magic. 1, DRESS TO KILL, every man is attracted to what he sees despite who is behinde it, 2, GIVE HIM A BREAK, no matter how blissful a relationship is your constant being together will diminish his likeness for you, 3, INCREASE YOUR BOND, increase the intimacy you have with him, spend more time on private discussion. Apply this steps and watch the magic that follows.
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