A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I'm feeling so confused and lost right now. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 36. I'll be going to uni soon and he is a tutor. Recently we have not been spending much time together as he says he needs to do work. Fine, I'm trying to be understanding. Yet...he simply loves to play tennis and cannot do without at least one session per week. Yes I'm trying to be understanding about this as well since everyone needs their own hobbies and space.Just today we had a bit of a row. We were supposed to meet and go out to do some work (as I'm teaching some tuition now also). However, I didn't realise that my phone was in silent mode and didn't pick up his calls. About half an hour passed when he called my place and I picked up. Of course I was feeling quite apologetic but he claimed he couldn't waste time waiting for me to get ready and went off. I called him many times but he refused to answer. Then he sent me a message saying sorry but he didn't have the luxury to meet a few times every week. What got to me was that he seemed to play tennis even more than the amount of time he meets me. just last week he played 3 times.This made me feel inadequate and as if I'm not important to him. Of course I don't want to hamper his career, but I just feel that he could have made some time for me. It's as if tennis plays a more important role in his life than me, and I feel so helpless.What should I do? (sorry that this is long but I just want to get everything out) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 July 2009):
He's acting a little bit like a teenager to be honest.
Yes, he clearly could make more time for you, but isn't bothering. He's also expecting you to be ready to jump when he says so which isn't great.
What are you really getting out of this relationship? If you are off to university soon anyway, he may know that a break up is coming so is just pushing you away and acting like a twat because he hasn't got the balls or the maturity to do the right thing and end it.
Tell him you need to get together and decide whether this is worth carrying on. If he can't make time for even that then you have your answer.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, weparley  +, writes (29 July 2009):
Have it ever dawned on you, By any chance that maybe he's married(or)another relationship of some kind? and can only see you when it's convenient for him?
I read your story and immediately saw red flags. You're young so it's hard for you to just think about all this,
You need to look further into this, Besides...based upon what you wrote, "Sounds like he doesn't treat you to nice"
I'd drop'em... To many other YOUNGER guys out there
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