A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im confused about something ...this girl is very close to me and i have broken off with her twice because of my confusion telling her that i need some time and im kind of committment phobic(which is true perhaps because im confused)....still she has forgiven me because we share a special relationship and are very special for each other and kind of soulmates ....i mean i still havent understood what kind of feelings i have for her ...i feel like a jerk and dumbass being 22 and couldnt make out what it is ...she's 18 and we see each other once in a month....i have respect for her, i love the way she takes care of me and supports me, i love her companionship and cant see my life with out her...when she is away, i miss her presence like hell and cry a lot ....but when she is too close(like when we are going around) then feel like "dude, what are you doing ?? are you crazy ?? why are you gambling with your life when you are not sure??" ..i mean i like her a lot but somewhere i dont like her in that special way ...i dont feel that magic when she is around...i dont find her attractive as i would like to see in my dream girl who could drive me insane day and night and i could feel happy and excited and possessive(i mean i kind of have those feelings for her but not that strong or just because i dont talk to any girl and am happy to have atleast someone, idk!!)...i dont feel anything when i kiss her or hug her(is it because i have got her habbit which is why im not feeling that magic and i am not lost in her thoughts) ...is it because our relationship has become mature ?? one thing is for sure, we understand each other and share a special relationship....maybe i will start liking her once i spend a lot of time with her ?? idk!! im confused ....i cant afford to lose her and i become a dead body alive ...we have had a lot of fun together and have gone to many places together ....while she's away ....those places and every single thing makes me cry and reminds me of her...i miss her whenever i feel lonely and miss her support and love ...as of now, we are committed, she will never trust me for the forth time if i break off now and i will permanently lose her and my words will make no sense ....i am in a mess and kind of depressed ...please advice ....
View related questions:
depressed, gambling, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): maybe the 'magic' is there & u r just not letting it flow?? it's a possibility .. or maybe ur a over thinking it all - u sound quite mature for your age i must say in terms of recognising the different possibilities of what might be going on & having some insight into your feelings for her - also sometimes a 'slow burn' can be better than a quick fire if you know what i mean & some relationships develop over time with friendship, trust etc .. also i would say it is not good to feel overly possessive of a partner & that does not necessarily indicate true love! you are quite young so maybe you & her should have a talk with each other about what you both want from life/relationships/each other & just enjoy each other's company & see what happens & sometimes things do work out & sometimes they don't - i must say i have had guys who are 'all over' me (i am 39 so a bit older than you guys!) physically but whilst it felt nice at the time they didn't turn out to be sustainable relationships, although of course there does need to be sufficient passion and physical attraction - maybe stop seeing her as your 'friend' & start to appreciate her feminine quailties & 'think passionate' then at least if it doesn't work out you know that you gave it a good shot (since she is a nice person who you really need and want in your life) but don't mislead her or mess her about on and off otheriwse you will lose her for good, as a friend or gf - & there is a reason you enjoy her company & if she was 'just a friend' i doubt you would miss her quite so much as you seem to .. sure you would miss her but maybe not to the point that you describe .. not sure if this is any help to you but maybe some food for thought - hope you sort it out ok & both end up happy - good luck! :)
A
female
reader, CraziiBeautiful  +, writes (28 December 2009):
 Hun one thing I will say is that it so painfull loving someone who doesnt love you back. You need to let her go until you know what you want.It hurts alot more when someone holds on and arent sure than if they let you go and I assume your not trying to hurt her?
You seem confused which to me says you need to cut off completely to see how you feel. Give yourself and her time ti breath and when you miss someone it can reveal how you really feel.
Hope this helps a bit
gd luck hun
xoxo
...............................
A
female
reader, miss lilian +, writes (28 December 2009):
 I think you know deep down that this isn't a relationship that is going to last, unfortunately, but sometimes that is the way they go. It sounds like it has turned more into a deep friendship and that although their isn't a reason not to like her its just not doing it for you anymore. It is easy for relationships to get routine and slip into safety over sexy, but I think you know that as soon as someone else comes along who does excite you you will be off in a flash anyway.
The question is whether you are going to continue this relationship until that happens and that is something only you can decide.
...............................
|
