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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy a while back and we're both really keen.Thing is, I hardly ever see him, and when I do it's quite awkward.It seems the only time we're really comfortable and chat away is on instant messenger, and I don't want that kind of relationship!Is there anything I can do without looking desperate?Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, melschatbox  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 I have been there too. Although, me and my guy never met. WE talked about it. And, then we just agreed for it not to happen. I think online relationships make it easier for chatters to use that as an excuse not to make it serious or something real. EVEN though the feelings are so intense and hard to forget. You can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. I couldn't. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (7 January 2007):
 I've found that sometimes people are who they WANT to be when they IM and are able to relax and say what is on thier mind behind thier anonymous computer screens. When meeting them in person they aren't the person they seem to be when IM'ing. It may be that he feels more comfortable behind his computer, than in person. I met a guy online that I thought was my very own carbon copy, we had everything in common, thought the same way, liked the same things, hated the same things, and could finish each others sentences, but when meeting him in person, everything was strained and awkward. No matter what I tried to get him to over come his shyness and discomfort of talking to me in person I was unabe to. So you may have a case of really great IM friend, and have to leave it at that. Relationships do take work and time to develop, but it should be easy and uncomplicated for both parties. I would suggest that you DO attempt to meet him as you have in the past, give him time to see if he relaxes and becomes more comfortable, but be prepared to have just a IM friend, and look for someone else to have a relationship with if things don't pan out the way you would like them too. Sometimes things are just not meant to be. I hope this is not the case and it works out as well as you wish it too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2007): Hi
The best thing that you can do in my opinion is to not chat with him on MSN as much. The next time you see him on there suggest that you chat on the phone instead and that way you can start getting to know each other better and feel less "awkward". I find people can edit what they say on MSN and messages get skewed without the proper verbal intonations etc... So, if you want to have a "real" relationship with this guy - move it offline as much as you can. Hope this helps!
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