A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I will start this post by making clear that I love my wife very much, unfortunately, I am not attracted to her.We have been married for about a year now, we are a pretty young couple, she is under 20 and I am under 25. We decided to get married for love and because being together we "would" solve our problems, rent, bills, etc. Though I have been taking care of her completely from the beginning.I have done everything I can to help her out in her life, and so she did to support me when we first got together, everything was going very good but then we started showing our "real" personalities.At first she was sweet, and I know she loves me, but me not being attracted to her is a big issue, she weights more than 200 pounds and doesn't take care of herself, never wears make up, never puts any effort on getting ready to look pretty for me, she do not have any good manners anymore, speaks with bad words all the time, she makes our intimacy boring, and she definitely do not want to work out and train herself to lose weight.Hence my lack of attraction for her, she is frustrated and hateful towards me almost everyday, I know she can feel I am not attracted to her, so instead she has developed an abusive behavior towards me. She doesn't help around the house, she doesn't want to work, she abuses me physically and mentally almost every day, and she sabotages our relationship. As much as I love her, I feel I can't take this anymore. I am the only one working and supporting our life, she just recently started going to school but that just adds more expenses that I have to cover. I am honestly tired of working so hard and dealing with her abusive personality, I feel like she is taking advantage of me, but once again I love her.I am a musician, I work out every day, I follow a diet to make myself look good, being a musician image is a big part of success so I put a lot of effort to look the best I can. Not that it matters but I used to date beautiful woman that are in the fashion business and such, I just could not pick up with their life style and wanted to date a woman that I could love, and that's why I got married to my wife, she is so beautiful, and I know if our sex life was better and I could feel more attracted to her we could be happy... But her weight, abusive personality, and myself being in constant temptation by other very attractive woman stop us from being happy.I honestly do not want to cheat on her, I would like us to work, but I do not enjoy sex with her, she does not make me happy with the way she is been lately and I can see how unhappy she is with herself because every time we go out on public many attractive woman approach me even on my wife's presence, and my girl friends constantly point at her at events we attend and reject her since they can't believe I settle down with her... Though I do not care about others opinions because my wife could make me happy if she would make an effort to lose weight and look better, but what I feel ashamed of myself for is by feeling so overly tempted to be with another woman, I do not know what to do... I do not want to portrait myself as a superficial individual but on one side I have my abusive overweight wife and on the other I have beautiful sexy woman that desire to be with me... I definitely do not know what to do...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): I honestly think that anyone should always want to help themselves be better. No matter their weight when they first got together.But to answer your question; when she and I first got together, yes she was already a "heavier" girl, she weighted about 175, but back then she was very sweet and she "committed" to work hard towards losing weight. So since I fell in love with her and saw more in her than her weight we decided to get together.Later on, after a year, she has actually gained more weight, she hasn't work towards exercising at all, and unfortunately I started losing sexual interest on her, as to why I am living hell due to her aggressive frustration and my own non-aggressive frustration.I forgot to explain that in numerous times in the past I have given ultimatums to her that everything needs to change to which she just cries, makes a big deal about it, promises she will change and then she won't do anything. As Mizz Butterflies said, she is immature and thinks I will always be with her, I am a man, and I am sure she sees me as because I am in control of the relationship as she relays on me with everything but being attractive and contribute to spice up our relationship hehehehe. I am starting to think she is just way too lazy and hides this laziness with aggressive behavior towards our frustrations. She is so lazy that she expects me to have sex with her by being aggressive and trying to force me to, no seduction what so ever, just plain "come here fuck me" ... I am tired of it...Thank you ladies very much for your help.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (16 May 2010):
 you married a woman under 20? are you serious? and you expect her to be matture enough to recognize what she's doing?she has taken you for granted,she thinks you'll always gonna be there.it's rtime to get bold.its time to see you as a MAN. talk her in a serious manner.tell her what u told her. say ur still young and if she doesnt make a big effort to change,ur out. make her scared to lose you.dont beg for anything.give her an ultimatum. ive been reading posts like yours,only difference was the people who wrote them were above 40.you're so young.please do not waste your life.
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