A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 years and he recently broke up with me. He has a total of 6 kids and I have only 1, all of his kids are grown except for 2 whose ages are 16 and 9. He gets them every other weekend, so I thought I would let him enjoy the kids by letting him spend time with them without me, well that was a problem.I have tried but when we are all together he completely ignores me so I stopped. The kids left the car dirty on the inside and caused ants, he said I called the kids nasty. So lately he's been saying that I talked about his kids and I have not said anything about them. He made it clear that his kids were priority and that they could do nothing wrong in his eyes, so he ended it. He doesn't call or speak to me (it's only been a week) and he has yet to come get the vehicle he let me drive. I love this man but at times he acts childish and is one sided.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (25 July 2016):
 That's a pretty abrupt way to end a six year relationship. You would think the relationship would mean more to him than this one bickering session you two had. If that's the way he handles minor conflicts, I agree it's for the best you two move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 July 2016):
 I think he was looking for a way out and used ANY excuse he could find, using his kids is hard to go against.
Though, I will say this, HE allowed the kids to have stuff in the care that later ? caused ants. And if the car was dirty... Why not just suggest he takes it to the car was and vacuum the inside?
I have 3 kids and YES they do tend to leave all kind of crap in the car, UNLESS I tell them to take it to the trashcan when we get home, but... honestly? my husband leaves WAY more crap in the car than the kids.
Pointing out the "faults" of his kids makes you seem petty, which is why I would have pointed out the dirt in the car (which by the way is his?) and NOT involved the kids, JUST him. As they are his responsibility SO is their messes.
I DO find it odd that you guys don't (after 6 years!!) do things ALL together on the week-end when he had the kids AS A family, because I owuld have assumed that THAT is what you were? Him, you, your child, his children?
And the "I let him enjoy his kids" - seems more like you didn't want to get involved with them. Maybe you really didn't because he didn't MAKE you a part of HIS little pride. And IF he ignored you when you DID join the outing, I don't blame you for not wanting to join, however... I would not have kept dating a man like that.
Was it the right thing? I think so, for both of you. After 6 years your families should have been blended. You should have been able to tell HIS children, hey you guys left stuff in the car can you both go out and clean up after yourselves... without his interpretation as "you think the kids are nasty".
To me it seems like you two wee fighting over petty things that could have been solved with a good open conversation and maybe some rules or compromises here and there.
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