A
female
age
41-50,
*emma1983
writes:Well I've been with my boyfriend for 5 nearly 6 years, and we had a really bad path for about 7 months and about 2 months ago he moved out for a week and came back. Well he's back and he tells me he does love me but when I say I love you in a text or by mouth he never says it back, he tells me he does fancy me and he does want to have sex with me but never does, I try and get pushed away and he just says he doesn't feel like it, I ask why he says he doesn't know.... he texts people all the time and hides his phone iv asked him why he says he just doesn't want me looking at his phone and he only texts lads. He has to go his mates every weekend and will not stay home he goes for like 9 hours. He calls me horrible names and he's just not the same person any more we never kiss or cuddle. He doesn't give me any money except 10 pound a week and he works and we have a 4 year old he just says he's saving for a car, that's no excuse, he doesn't tidy up or help in any wayDeep down I know I need to walk away from this but I can’t bring myself to do it; it’s so painful I love this guy so much I don’t want be without him but he just clearly don’t care anymore, I make myself strong and think I can do this but then I see him or txt and I think about how much I love him and can’t do it again I know he won’t love me again and I know I can’t make him but it’s so darn hard to let go of him.
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I love you, money, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Racna1305  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Lol its not that you arent strong. Love makes people blind where they dont see things for what they really are. People go through this all the time, you just love what you once had but the thing is...its gone. And if he isnt trying to work on it then why are you? Plenty of people out there who can make you happy. In the end you gotta do for yourself, last thing you need is for him to use you as place to lay his head at night and not give a damn about you
A
female
reader, Jemma1983 +, writes (21 November 2010):
Jemma1983 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for your reply's everything you have all said is so true and I know I let him walk all over me, I came here from jersey and left everything and one behind all I had was him and to be honest I still only really have him and not any friends due to looking after my little one and he seems to have this power over me and I think he knows that, he does nothing to make me feel better and he is an amazing liar to other people but says he doesn't do it to me which is very had to believe he never shows me his phone just says i just don't want you to look at it and he never text girls, I will admit a have had a trust issue with him for a long time now and he started to get annoyed with this but he has always hide convo's with mates from day 1 of me being here and i could never understand it, I didn't have trust issues with him at first on the other hand when I lived in jersey and he lived in England he was so so paranoid and wouldn't let me go anywhere. i think part of my not being able to trust him has come from some of the things he did and does, not making excuse but before i meet him i never ever was a paranoid person and never had trust issues with previous bf's, im a mess and i cant believe how much i love this guys but i know i have to let him go it would be so much easier for me if i had close mates or family here but once i let go of him im on my own with my son, i wish i was stronger and had my will power. x
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (21 November 2010):
 You don't love the man he is, you love the man he used to be. Problem is, the man you loved is gone.
Like you said, you already know what you have to do. The good times are not coming back and your boyfriend has already emotionally checked out of your relationship.
It will hurt at first but a year from now you will wonder why you waited so long to enjoy life again.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Racna1305 +, writes (21 November 2010):
You sound nice...that you do. Well, things is sweets, he doesnt care if he is calling you names. And he isnt doing much to prevent suspicion, im not saying you need to check his phone all the time but if I was in his shoes I would do whatever I could to make you trust me. I wouldnt do anything that looked suspicious or damage trust. You really arent holding on to your love for him in my opinion i think you are holding on to the many years you have shared, and thats ok. Thing is you gotta be happy in life and the fact that you are on here asking this shows you are not happy. Its a big step but maybe it is time you moved on? No woman needs to be with a guy who disrespects them especially if he is living with you? lol yea.....take some time to think to yourself and him too. Dont be angry be sincere and explain how you feel and if he cared he will be sincere too, if he gets angry then you need to just get outta that. Thing is sweets in a relationship both parties have to be willing to put in 100%, unfortunately it seems you are putting in more than him. Explain this to him in a kind way and let him know you love him but you gotta do what you gotta do.
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A
female
reader, LittleMissy +, writes (21 November 2010):
If you can't think about yourself, you need to think about your four year old. Do you want him/her growing up and thinking it's ok to treat their partner/ be treated like that?
This guys walking all over you because you let him, my advice would be tell him to change or he's out. And mean it. If he truly loves you he will change for fear of losing you. Maybe he just hasn't realised what a jerk he is being?. Some guys just want to have their cake and eat it. Adoring gf at home looking after them, whilst they go out and do what they want. You sound like a very nice person but obviously you have a very low self esteem, because in a relationship you deserve to get what you give. That means care and respect. Iv been in your position and I know how it feels. Feel free to message me if you want. X
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