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I discovered he is married!

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2009) 18 Answers - (Newest, 21 September 2009)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

He told me he was divorced. I just found his myspace page. And his wife's myspace page. both updated within the past week. both listed as married.

i am sick and angry. really angry.

i suspected.

do i confront him? i haven't heard from him in 2 weeks. i had asked him. no response.

View related questions: divorce, myspace

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009):

you should not even waste a moment longer on this piece of dirt. he is not worth a moments thought.

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (21 September 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntI would have to say that whatever it is you told him, by changing his myspace page to "private", he got your message.

The best thing to do is ignore him from now on and move on with your life. This is not what you wanted, and as I recall he wanted you to be exclusive to him, but he wanted to continue to play the field.

This tells me he's not worth the time of day to you.

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A female reader, califnan United States +, writes (20 September 2009):

califnan agony auntI know how angry, hurt, and frustrated you feel.. But it is not over for him.. The more you ignore him (the situation) and go on with your own life - the more he will be dealt with, as well..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He just changed his myspace page to Private. No response to my email.

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (19 September 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntIt seems pretty clear from everything you've said that he's, well, a tool.

You're probably much better off without this guy anywhere near your life. He's outright toxic.

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A female reader, califnan United States +, writes (19 September 2009):

califnan agony auntDid you care for him more than you did the other two men? Hard as it may be, you could apologize to the other two men, and telling them what had happened.. If there would be one of them that you are attracted to enough to see future marriage.. then it especially - it could all be worth it ..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So angry because he asked me to be Exclusive with him. And so, I dropped a couple of guys I was seeing for him. Then dropped the bombshell, he could see others, but I couldn't.

And now, I am left. Really feel like an Idiot. really don't trust anyone now.

I did send a brief email saying, interesting status on your myspace. care to explain. I just couldn't let him think he got away with it.

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A female reader, califnan United States +, writes (19 September 2009):

califnan agony auntHe deceived you, not telling you he was married .. It is an easy trap to fall into .. married men appear to be more well rounded, confident, sweeter, and with more personality ..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

his wife's page describes herself as ' happily married,'

i feel like sh!t about this. never would i knowingly get involved with a married man.

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A male reader, Red Green 0289 United States +, writes (19 September 2009):

Maybe he is divorced, just not from her...

It could depend on what your definition of "is is"... Bill Clinton logic...

He's lied to you, reguardless. I'd at least let his current wife know what she's married to... maybe a collection of his emails, any photos... mailed to her place of business... as a keep sake...

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A female reader, califnan United States +, writes (18 September 2009):

califnan agony auntI don't know how long you have known him - or to what extent.. It sounds as if you have known him long enough to have feelings for him.. Although men do not seem to care for emailing - I think email is a good way to find out about a person before becoming emotionally and physically involved..

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (18 September 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntDespite your reservations about whether he's lied or telling the truth.

If he's ignoring you for weeks on end, then there's nothing there. People who intend to enter into a legitimate relationship, even if it were some sort of secrete extramarital affair, would still make the effort to make time for you.

This tells me he's using you and you're best to move on and ignore him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i should explain that he refuses to give me his phone number or a reason why not. he disappears for literally weeks because he is *busy.*

adds up.

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A female reader, califnan United States +, writes (18 September 2009):

califnan agony auntAlways good advice to just walk away from a situation like this .. You have asked him - and no response. You may not have heard the last of him.. But should you keep any room in your heart for a man who is married - or separated, you will loose - and be made to feel like less than the complete Godly woman that you Are..

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (18 September 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntWelcome to love in the internet age.

Since when do people who are divorcing update their myspace page to say DIVORCING?

Perhaps what you might want to ask him for is a copy of his divorce papers. Maybe that will make you feel better about this.

People seem to take whatever's on a webpage as gospel, forgetting that the internet is not the ultimate oracle of truth.

If you want to know the truth, you have to ask him for some proof of it. Never assume that people are what their myspace page says they are, any different than you can assume the crackpot conspiracy pages hold any truth either.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2009):

I wouldn't even bother wasting the time and energy it would take to confront him.

Just act as if he's dead to you.

I always advise to hold you head high and act like a Lady in these situations.

Move on and never look back because he's beneath you and it'd be like looking back at a dog poo you nearly stepped in.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009):

Confront him, let him know that you're not as gullible as he thinks, and that you're not going to be a fool and continue his little games. If you're still attracted to him ignore the feeling because he's a cheat, and if you were to hook up with him he would probably do the same thing to you. I know through experience because I got with a man that had a girlfriend, and when I got him where I wanted he did the same to me. So don't give him the benefit of getting what he wants, there are plenty of nice single guys out there.... go get'em.

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A female reader, sunnycomet Canada +, writes (18 September 2009):

sunnycomet agony auntI don't think you will get another response from him.

I don't know if you two were dating or in a relationship but I am glad you know. I am sure you wouldn't want someone in your life that lies about his relationship status. These types of men are called cheaters.

I hope you don't hear from him again and I am sorry you had to deal with this. I also feel bad for his wife.

If I would you I would send another e-mail and make it clear you want nothing to do with him and that anything you had is over.

Good Luck!

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