A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When i masturbate, i do it face down, rubbing my clitoris in a pillow, floor or bed and my orgasms are amazing. I've tried to masturbate the regular way, just by sitting or laying down on a bed face up, and rub my clitoris with my fingers or something as the pillow or towel, but i just cant come this way. My problem is when i'm with someone and tries to masturbate and get really turned on but i cant reach orgasm. I've had slept with 5 guys by now and i havent come yet- This is really worrying me, because i think i will never come during sex or else. What can i do? Does my problem has anything to do with the way i masturbate? Help meeeeee, pleaaaseeee! :(
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clitoris, orgasm, the pill Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Eva_53  +, writes (12 July 2008):
I have also had difficulty reaching orgasm durihg intercourse, but what works for me is if he is on top and really pushes into me while i kind of gyrate up against him and rub my clit on him. It also feels really good for him... Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Tigger3165  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 I had a similar fear in the past... i've been with three guys... i never had an orgasm with the first two... and i kind of came to think that it would never happen... but then i met someone... who was... well... amazing... i don't know if it has to do with the emotion attachment to this one, making me more open to it... or if the sex is just better...
but i know that its easier (for me at least) when i'm on top... so that i can be in control of whats going on...
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (12 July 2008):
 No one can tell you exactly what to do because it's your body, and everyone's body is different. You have lots of time to experiment and find out. Take it easy, don't hurry, and enjoy the journey!
By the way, have you used a vibrator?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everybody for your answers, were very helpful :) But any advice for climaxing during sex? Any position? Whatever? I would really appreciate if someone gave me a sex tip or something of what EXACTLY to do.
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A
female
reader, shelleyanne +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Hmm, well from what you've said maybe you should try a different position. For instane, if he normally goes down on you with you lying on your back maybe you could try it with him lying down, and you over him. That way you have more control of the pressure, and if that's what you're used to, hopefully it'll be more comfortable.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (11 July 2008):
 All the previous advisors below have offered excellent thoughts. I'm impressed, and you should be comforted with the knowledge that you will experience great sex in your life - providing you associate with caring and sexually attentive men. It will likely help if they enjoy giving you cunnilingus.
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (11 July 2008):
It's quite possible that the way you masturbate has something to do with it. I had a girlfriend who masturbated like you. In the 8 years we were together I was never able to give her an orgasm, whether through intercourse or oral. We would go for hours but nothing happened.
But that doesn't mean you have to give up hope. Everyone is different. Don't panic and take it slowly. Learn ways that a man can turn you on, different touches, different positions, different methods. If there is anything that gives you a strong sexual feeling, make sure he keeps it up, and keeps it up for a long time. Once he touches that spot in just the right way, don't let him stop. One mistake men make is to keep moving on, trying a different touch or different place, when all they need to do is keep on at the place where she feels best.
My previous girlfriend got married soon after we split up. I have no idea what the new guy did, but from one comment she made, it must have been pretty good! So I chalk that up to the new guy -- he obviously turned her on in a way that I couldn't. (We're still friends).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): I think you should be the one taking control in your relationships, this way you can do it in the way that pleasures you.
It could be they don't apply enough pressure to your area or that they don't do it for long enough.
Do it the way you feel comfortable.
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A
female
reader, desirewhitefire  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 I was with my exboyfriend for 5 years. We started dating when I was 16 and I didn't have an orgasm with him until I was 20, even though I could give myself one.
The only other person who was able to give me an orgasm is my husband, and I dated a lot before I met him. I've learned that you need to relax when someone else is trying to please you, and to not think that you could just do it yourself and get it over with. That was my problem. I would always judge the person I was with against how I did it myself, and that's not fair. Of course it's going to feel different if someone else is doing it, and yes, it's going to take a lot longer. But it's worth it, and it's so much better.
So, just relax and don't be closeminded. If you concentrate on what he's doing to you and focus on every little feeling he gives you, you'll eventually orgasm. And don't try to force yourself to orgasm faster or think that you're taking too long and he's going to get tired. Most men enjoy dragging it out.
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