A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I like my guy friend, but I've been really silly and completely myslef around him. I haven't been mysterious or girly, just plain old myself. I'm outgoing, funny, and center of the party. He told my best friend that he thoought i was cool. How do I tell him I like him? Should I tell him? Should I act differently aruond him (more girly, and sweet) Like when Im dating a guy I would never be too out there, ill still be funny and cool but ill be a lot calmer, with him though i just throw it allout there b/c hes just a friend, but now im seeing him differently, shoud i act differently around hiM? im so confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question:) u are so sweet! Thank u so much anonymous! I agree, you know, he seems okay with it, ill tell him i know i was hyper but he says just be you, and he likes it....but i keep stressing about this girly thing. I do wana be calmer though, still myself, still telling funny/silly stories but just a little calmer and having just a good balance of listening and talking (im getting the hang of it) Yes, Ill flirt a little bit more but I don't think I should straight out tell him, I just can't ruin a friendship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): No I think you should keep being yourself. Few things are more attractive. Furthermore being yourself will bring out the best of you in the long term (as opposed to repressing who you are just to impress someone).
When I was younger (like your age) I too was often loud, funny, center of things, etc...as I got older I calmed down quite a bit. It was a natural progression not a forced one, so frankly I can't help it, lol. I am still a cool person but I am alot calmer (I am 29 now).
At this stage of your life (and in all stages) it will benefit you in all aspects of your life to just be yourself, regardless of what you may think may be more to someone's liking. As long as you are not rude, as long as you are a kind person with good intentions you will be fine. And if he likes someone who is calmer and more "mysterious" then perhaps he is not the guy for you. I guarantee you there will be plenty of guys who think you are awesome and would love to get to know you at a romantic level with you being just like you are.
The only times you should consider modifying your behavior is if it is hurting others or it is offensive to others or if it is hurting yourself. For instance, if you are too loud and others percieve you as obnoxious and perhaps it is hurting your social life then some modifications of your personality would help you out. But if everybody is rubbed the right way, you are you, you have fun, then keep it up!
And as for letting your friend know, I think the best way is to bring it up casually. Or start flirting with him more. There are little things you can do to show interest. Pay more attention to him than to other boys. "Jokingly" let him know that you like him. Men are very perceptive. Even if you casually flirt with him, chances are he will pick your vibes up real quickly. And take it from there. But don't change your personality. That is your charm.
He can take it or leave it =)
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 Try flirting with him and if it's too subtle then tell him. The worst that can happen is that he'll say no, in which case you'll be free to get over him and move on and if your friendship is quite strong, then you'll recover.
Definitely tell him. It could be AMAZING.
good luck :)
xx
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