A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I read my girlfriend's journal to find that she has nothing but scathing personal thoughts about me: "I don't love him anymore...I don't respect him," and I also found her transcribing conversations with an ex-bf whom I think she may have stayed with when she went on vacation a couple of weeks ago. Now, it seems that she's mysteriously deleted him from facebook (perhaps to hide the evidnce?)--he used to be there when I'd "spy"--now he's not. We've been together for 2ish years, and I know she's cheated with other boys before, but I want to believe her, but it's hard to tell I know what I did was wrong, but I confronted her anyway. Did I read too much into this?She became defensive, claims she never cheated, never would, I invaded her privacy (which I did because SOMETHING just didn't seem right). What's the next step to rectify the situation?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): Her diary says it all.
Move on, don't think of it as dumping, if she asks you why, then just tell her straight out that you read her diary and what she wrote about you.
If she gets onto you about that, tell her front and center that the only person who has anything to feel guilty about is her. People who don't like the person they are with, but use them, till they get the person they want, are users.
Tell her if she doesn't like it to not keep a diary with the next guy.
Then, move on.
Don't go back.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 September 2011):
 Let me see, she's cheated before, has contact with her ex, covers her tracks, but can't hide her diary that well, and there's no trust in this relationship. So you're still with her why??
Either A. let it go because you have no physical proof, other than a diary stating she doesn't love you anymore and keep up this relationship because she's not going to admit to cheating. OR B. dump her. What's the sense in dragging this out when it's going to end sooner or later?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 September 2011):
 I WOULDN'T rectify the situation I'd leave it as is and walk out the door.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 September 2011):
 You are in a toxic relationship, you KNOW she cheats and that (you think) justify the snooping. Is this really how you see yourself? Being with someone who doesn't love you fully, who cheats - but most of all WHO makes you feel like snooping is your only choice? or even your "right"?
You are going to end up being one of those nutty, snooping guys who trusts no one and no one trusts.
I think you need to re-think this relationship and WHY you are still with her.
I see nothing about how you feel about her. Other then you don't trust her any further then you can throw her.
You are making yourself misserable, for what? To be in a raltionship?
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (1 September 2011):
A passing thought is one thing, but taking the time to write it down in various forms in a diary is quite another. Notice she was only angry because you invaded her privacy, not because of what you found when you did so. I think it's time to go. And you'd be surprised what opportunities arise after a clear decision of this nature is made, and 'stuck to'. Find someone who'll respect and love you, and make sure you're worthy of it.
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