A
male
age
51-59,
*raham103
writes:The big question Have I done the right thing and have I been usedI met a woman about 3 years ago and we got on from day 1. She was seing a married man who she had been seing for 2 years and she used to talk how she felt and how upset she was.We started to see each other more and more and went for meals 4 times a week.Because she hadnt much money I paid for everything which didnt bother me as I felt she was a real friend and worth it. I arranged her moving house twice by calling alot of favours in and made sure it cost her nothing. I took her on holiday and life was really good.We started sharing a bed together and even though when she was drunk I told her nothing would happen untill she finished with the married man.Then it happened I started falling in love with her, I told her and she said it was ok but her mind was messed up with the married man. It got to the stage where it was unbearable and my love for her was going to spoil our friendship so I told her that I needed a month or so to sort my feelings out with no contact. This only took a month so feeling better I got in touch and mentioned to her that the eating and drinking had to stop but would I would prefer to see her for a coffee, long walks and going out for days. I said that I would leave her to get in touch and that was two months ago.Just before I had my month break I lent her over £300 and she seems to have just cast me to one side. I feel upset and feel used because I am not willing to pay for nights out anymore. I am feeling like just asking for my money back and forgeting meeting this person. Am I right in doing this and has she used me?
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drunk, married man, money, on holiday Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Nix the cash. She used you. Get on with your life. She's hung up on the married man and you're just a crutch in her life.
A
male
reader, graham103 +, writes (14 August 2009):
graham103 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I know but on the inside you don't see it and on the outside I needed to know I was not bitter but tank you for you answer because it confirms how and what I felt
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): Graham, I think you already know the answer to your question. this woman not only used you financially she used you emotionally as well. what did you actually expect from her. she showed you her true colours- for goodness sake she has been doing it with a married man and she cares less who she hurts. her treatment of you is evident of her as a moral being isn't it. she is a taker, just a user. this will sound bad but maybe, just maybe you are better off without such a person in your life. there are many morally sound women around. try hooking up with one of them. not all women are users but their character is reflecting in the way they conduct their private lives. glad you decided not to be mr stupid, mr. moneybags and mr. goodguy here. let her married man pay for her upkeep. and please steer clear of her. please do not invest in her anymore. she is just not worth it - just think of her as a lowlife you can do without. and see the real selfish using *itch she really is.
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