| A
female
,
*oney_62002
writes: Me and my ex have been apart for over a month now but i'm still not over him. The night after he dumped me I rang him to tell him i was there for him, (meaning if he had changed his mind about ending the relationship he could get me back), anyway that night he told me he was happy not to have me there nagging or whatever and was having fun with friends.Anyway since then i've heard from him practically once a week. I contacted him first on only two occasions over this time. One was when i knew he had a hospital appointment and the second was on xmas day i just wanted to be polite and say Merry xmas. But he ended up texting me and then rang me to chat which upset me for days. He was quite miserable on the phone( he doesnt like xmas), drinking a couple of bottles of wine to himself, (as usual, he had an alcohol problem) and was just enjoying being sorry for himself. Anyway i decided it was the last time i would contact him but then he rang me after new year but i didnt pick up the phone.I'm panicking now, as i've deleted his number and worry i'll never hear from him again. Everyone says he didn't treat me very well and i can do better, but i keep thinking i'm going to be single forever and being with him still would be better than this misery i feel everyday. Also keep waking up in the middle of the night having nightmares about him with other girls. :-(Part of me wishes to know what these calls mean? He hasn't contacted me since that phone call earlier this week, he was probably assuming i would ring back. I don't know, I get on with life but i do miss him so much - doesnt look like any new relationships for me at the min also
View related questions:
my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lostgirl04  +, writes (11 January 2006):
 Hey there, I understand that it's hard for you to deal with this situation and to even begin to move on. I just recently broke up with some1 aswell so I know what your going through, and I know it's terribly difficult! But you have to be strong. As to why he is calling you after the break-up, it's probably because it is hard for him to move on aswell. He's used to having you around and telling you his sob stories so he calls you to feel that old comfort and support that you used to give him. An although you may want to help him in his times of need, it is not healthy for you because he's getting what he wants and your getting zip. Everytime you talk to him, I'm sure you feel sad all over again. I think you did good in deleting his number that way your not tempted to call, but if you somehow get the number again, hide it away in your closet. That way you have it but not at an easy reach ;-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2006): I am so sorry you are enduring this-it's not easy. When we break up with someone we love, we don't just lose the person, we lose hope and also part of yourself. Don't panic over the fact, you deleted his number. He has your number and if he cared to be a part of your life, you'd be hearing from him. My suggestion: bite you tongue and don't call him. He has detached, dear and you need to do the same. Want to know the best thing you can do right now? It's called "living well," it's called "self-care and self-love" and it's better for your self-esteem in the long run. Here's how you do it and it will take strength of mind and a ton of self-value and willpower, to do this.(you can do it!) Firstly, accept that it's done..be reality based. Don't get confused and go into denial. You need to grieve so hunker down and get ready for it, girl-it isn't easy. You begin the process by purging him from your life completely. You ditch old photos, momentos of him or safely tuck them away. You stop talking incessantly about him to your friends. Distract yourself all the time, go out with good, trusted friends, sign up for a class, take a trip. No casual sex with meaningless partners. That will make you feel worse..not only will that downgrade you it can trigger feelings of longing for this guy. Breaking up is difficult and people tend to avoid the difficult,why put energy into something that is over? The most important thing, take some alone time to evaluate what went wrong..so mistakes aren't repeated. This is life-we've all been there. So move forward, but it will take time but stay real..think with your head now-you need to mend your heart. That takes time. My heart goes out to you. Be strong and look out for you now. Believe in yourself. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, honey_62002 +, writes (8 January 2006):
honey_62002 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI deleted his number to force myself to not have contact with him. I think i'm just finding it hard. I really want to know why he has kept in contact even though he broke up with me...any suggestions?
...............................
A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (8 January 2006):
I suggest you call around any of his mates who will have his number then you can fulfill your need to call him and keep things ticking over. Failing that, if you know his address then look up his land line number in the telephone directory.
...............................
|
